Disclaimer
This book is transliteration of Umera Ahmed’s masterpiece Peer-e-Kaamil WITHOUT HER PERMISSION.
This is only for those readers who understand Urdu but can’t read it. On Goodreads, some people asked meabout Roman transliteration of Peer-e-Kamil. I couldn’t find it, so I made a mental note to try and make it available to others for free when I get time. Then I forgot about it because I never get time.
And this morning, I got this book. Some kind soul had enough time to transliterate, print, and spiral bind and bring it home.
Anyone interested in reading the roman version can borrow from me.
And those online can read it here.
P.S. This is NOT English translation. If you want that, it’s available on Amazon.
Wo dono ladke stage par ek dusre ke bil-muqabil rostrum ke piche khade the, magar hall me maujood students ke nazrein hamesha ki tarah un me se ek par markooz thin. Wo dono head boy ke intekhaab ke liye canvassing kar rahe the aur wo program bhi us ka hi ek hissa tha. Dono ke rostrum par ek ek poster laga tha, jin me se ek par Vote for Salar likha tha aur dusre par Vote for Faizan likha tha.
Us waqt Faizan head boy ban jane ke baad apne mumkina ikdamaat ka ailaan kar raha tha. Jabki salar poori sanjeedgi ke saath use dekhne me masroof tha. Faizan school ka sabse achha mukarrir tha. Aur us waqt bhi wo apne josh o khitabat ke kamaal dikhane me masroof tha, aur usi british lehje me baat kar raha tha, jiske liye wo mashoor tha. Behtreen sound system ki wajah se uski aawaz aur andaaz dono khaase mutassirkun they. Hall me bila shuba sab ko taari tha. Aur ye khamoshi sirf us waqt toot ti jab faizan ke supporters uske kisi jumle pe daad dena shuru hote. Hall yak dam taaliyon se goonj uthta.
Aadhe ghante ke baad apne liye vote ki appeal karne ke baad wo khamosh hua, to hall me agle minute tak taaliyan aur seetiyan bajti rahi. In taaliyon me khud salar sikandar bhi shamil tha. Faizan ne ek fatehaana nazar hallnpae aur salar par daali. Use taaliyaan bajate hue dekh kar apni gardan ke ishare se saraha. Salar sikandar aasaan hareef nahi tha. Ye wo achhi tarah janta tha. Stage secretary ab salar ke liye announcement kar raha tha. Taaliyon ki goonj me usne bolna shuru kar diya.
“Good morning friends. Faizan akbar ek mukarrir ke taur par yaqeenan hamare school ka ehsasa hain. Me ya koi bhi inke muqable me yahan stage pe khada nahi ho sakta.” Wo ek lamhe ke liye ruka. Usne Faizan ke chehre ko dekha, jispe ek fakhriya muskurahat ubhar rahi thi. Magar salar ke jumle ke baaqi hisse ne agle lamhe uski muskurahat ko ghayab kar diya.
“Agar muamla sirf baatein banane ka ho to.”
Hall mehalki si khilkhilahatein ubhri. Salar ke lehje ki sanjeedgi barqarar thi.
“Magar ek headboy aur mukarrir me bht farq hota hai. Mukarrir ko baatein karna hoti hai aur head boy ko kaam karna hota hai. Dono ke darmiyaan talker aur doer ka farq hota hai. Aur ‘great talkers are not great doers’“ Salar ke supporters ki taliyon se hall goonj utha.
“Mere paas Faizan akbar jaise khoobsurat lafzon ki rawani nahi hai, mere paas sirf mera naam hai, aur mera mutassirkun record aur mujhe convencing ke liye lafzon ke liye koi dariya nahi bahane mujhe bas alfaaz kehne hain……. Wo ek baar phir ruka.
“Trust me and vote for me.”
Usne shukriya karte waqt jaise hi apne Mike ko off kiya, us waqt hall taaliyon se goonj raha tha. 1 minute 40 seconds me usi napey tule aur calculated andaaz me bola tha, jo uska khasa tha. Aur usi 1.5 minutes me faizan ka takhta palat diya tha.
Us ibtedaai taaruf ke baad dono ummeedwaaron se swal jawab ka silsila shuru hua tha. Salar Sikandar un jawabaat me bhi utne hi ikhtesaar se kaam le raha tha jitna usne apni takreer me liya tha. Uska sabse taweel jawab 4 jumlo par mushtamil tha. Jabki Faizan ka sabse mukhtasir jawab bhi 4 jumlon par mushtamil nahi tha. Faizan ke fasahat aur balaghat pehle uski khoobi samjhi jati thi. Us waqt us stage pe salar ke mukhtasir jawabaat ke saamne charb zabani nazar aa rahi thi. Aur iska ehsaas khud faizan ko bhi ho raha tha. Jis sawal ka jawab salar ek lafz ya ek jumle me deta, uske piye faizan ko aadatan tamheed baandhni padhti. Aur salar ka apni taqreer me uske baare me kiya hua ye tabsira wahan moujood students ko kuch aur sahi mehsoos hota ke mukarrir sirf baatein kar sakta hai.
“Salar sikandar ko head boy kyu hona chahiye ? “ Sawal kiya gaya.
“Kyuki aap behtareen shaqs ka intekhaab chahtehain. “ Jawab aaya.
“Kya ye jumla khud satayashi nahi hai? “ Aitaraaz kiya gaya.
“Nahi, ye jumla khud shanasi hai. “ Aitraz ko radd kar diya gaya.
“Khud satayashi aur khud shanasi me kya fark hai? “
Ek baar phir chubhte hue lehje me poocha gaya.
“Wahi jo faizan akbar aur salar sikandar me hai” Sanjeedgi se kaha gaya.
“Agar aapko head boy na banaya to aapko kya fark padega? “
“Farq mujhe nahi aapko padega. “
“Kaise”
“Agar behtareen aadmi ko mulk ka leader na banaya jaye to farq qoum ko padhta hai, us behtreen aadmi ko nahi.”
“Aap apne aap jo behtreen aadmi keh rahe hain? “ Ek baar phir aitraz kiya gaya.
“Kya is hall me koi esa hai jo khud ko bure aadmi ke saath equate kare? “
“Ho sakta hai ho”
“Phir me usse milna chahoonga.” Hall me hasi ki aawazein ubhri.
“Head boy banne ke baad salar sikandar jo tabdeeliyan layega, uske baare me bataye.”
“Tabdeeliyan batayi nahi, dikhayi jati hain. Aur ye kaam head boy banne se pehle nahi kar sakta.”
Chand aur sawal kiye gaye. Phir stage secretary ne haazireen me se aakhri sawal liya. Wo ek sri Lankan ladka tha jo kuch shararti andaaz me khada hua
“Agar aap mere ek sawal ka jawab de dein to me aur mera poora group aapko vote dega. “ Salar uski baat par muskuraya.
“Jawab dene se pehle me janna chahungi ki aapke group me kitne log hain” Usne poocha
“6” Us ladke ne kaha.
Salar ne sar hilaya,
“Ok, sawal karein”
“Aapko kuch hisaab kitab karte hue mujhe batana haike agar hum 267895 me 952852 ko jama karein phirusme se 39999 ko tafreeq karein phir usme 92929 kojama kare aur use 6 ke saath zarb dein phir use 2 kesaath takseem karein aur jawab me 492359 ko jamakarein to kya jawab aayega? “Wo ladka apni baat mukammal na kar saka
“8142473” Badi barq ra”aari ke saath salar ne jawabdiya. Us ladke ne kagaz pe ek nazar daudhaayi aurphir kuch beyaqeeni se sar hilate hue taaliyaanbajane laga. Faizan akbar ko us waqt apna aap ekactor se zyada nahi laga. Poora Hall us ladke ke saathtaaliyaan bajane me masroof tha. Faizan akbar kopoora program ek mazaq mehsoos hone laga.
Ekghante baad jab salar sikandar se pehle us stage seutar raha tha to wo jaanta tha ki wo muqable sepehle hi muqabla haar chuka tha. 150IQ ke level waleus ladke se use zindagi me isse pehle kabhi itnahasad mehsoos nahi hua.
https://theothermeunfolded.com/blog/peer-e-kaamil-roman-urdu-umera-ahmed-episode-16/
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Until next time, happy reading!
~~~
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Shabana Mukhtar