Disclaimer
This book is transliteration of Umera Ahmed’s masterpiece Peer-e-Kaamil WITHOUT HER PERMISSION.
This is only for those readers who understand Urdu but can’t read it. On Goodreads, some people asked meabout Roman transliteration of Peer-e-Kamil. I couldn’t find it, so I made a mental note to try and make it available to others for free when I get time. Then I forgot about it because I never get time.
And this morning, I got this book. Some kind soul had enough time to transliterate, print, and spiral bind and bring it home.
Anyone interested in reading the roman version can borrow from me.
And those online can read it here.
P.S. This is NOT English translation. If you want that, it’s available on Amazon.
Wo weekend par kabhi kabhaar hiking ke liye Margalla ki pahaadiyon par jaaya karta tha. Wo weekend nahin tha magar achanak hi uska mood wahan jaane ka ban gaya.
Hamesha ki tarah gaadi niche park kar ke wo ek bag apni pucht par daale hiking karta raha. Waapsi ka safar usne tab shuru kiya jab saaye lambe hone lage. Wo andaaza kar sakta tha ke use apni gaadi tak pahonchne mein 2 ghante lagenge. Waapsi ke safar ko kuch tezi se tay karne ke liye wo sadak par aa gaya jahan se aam taur par log guzarte the. Usne abhi kuch faasla hi tay kiya tha jab use apne peechey tez qadmon ki aawaz sunai di. Salar ne ek nazar mud kar dekha. Wo do ladke the jo usse kaafi peechey the, magar bahot tezi se aage aa rahe the.
Salar ne gardan wapas mod li aur usi tarah apna niche ka safar jaari Rakha. Use apne huliye se wo ladke mashkook nahin lage the. Jeans aur shirt mein malboos unka huliya aam ladkon jaisa tha magar phir chalte chate use ek dam koi apne bilkul aqab mein mehsoos hua. Wo barq raftaari se palta uar saakit ho gaya. Un dono ladkon ke haath mein revolver the aur wo uske bilkul saamne the.
“Apne haath upar karo warna ham tumhein shoot kar denge.”
Un mein se ek ne buland aawaz mein kaha. Salar ne be ikhteyaar apne haath upar utha diye. Un mein se ek uske piche gaya aur bahot tezi se usne use kheenchtey hue dhakka diya. Salar ladkhadaya magar sambhal gaya.
“udhar chalo.” Salar ne kisi qism ki mazahemat kye baghair us taraf jaana shuru kar diya jahan wo use le jana chahte the. Wo use sadak se hatana chahte the taa ke koi ek dam wahan na aa jaye. Un mein se ek taqreeban dhakeltey hue use raastey se hata kar jhaadiyon aur darakhton ke bahot andar tak le gaya.
“Ghutnon ke bal baitho.” Ek ne durushti se usse kaha.
Salar ne khamushi se uske hukm par amal kiya. Wo jaanta tha ke wo log uski cheezein cheenenge aur phir use chod denge aur wo aisa koi kaam nahin karna chahta tha jis par wo dono mushtail ho kar use nuqsaan pahonchaate. Un mein se ek uske peeche gaya aur uski pusht par latka hua chota sa bag utaar liya. Us bag mein camera, chand film roll, battery, telescope, first aid kit, wallet, paani ki bottle aur chand khaane ki cheezein thin. Jis ladke ne wo bag utara tha wo bag khol kar andar maujood cheezon ka jaaiza leta raha phir usne wallet khol kar uske andar maujood currency notes aur credit cards ka jaaiza liya. Uske baad usne bag mein se tissue ka packet nikaal liya aur phir first aid kit bhi nikaal li.
“Ab tum khade ho jao.” Us ladke ne tahakkumaana lehje mein kaha. Salar usi tarah haath sar se upar uthaye khada ho gaya. Us ladke ne uski pusht par jaa kar uski shorts ki jebon mein daal unhein tatola aur us mein maujood gaadi ki chaabi nikaal li.
“Good! Car hai?” Salar ko pehli tashweesh hui.
“Tum log mera bag le jao magar car ko rehne do.” Salar ne pehli baar unhein mukhaatib kiya.
“Kyun? Car ko kyun rehne dein. Tum hamari khaala ke bete ho ke car ko rehne dein.” Us ladke ne durusht lehje mein kaha.
“Tum log agar car le jaane ki koshish karoge to tumhein bahot se problems honge. Sirf car ki chaabi mil jaane se tum car nahin le ja sakoge. Us mein aur bhi bahot se locks hain.” Salar ne unse kaha.
“Wo hamara mas’ala hai, tumhara nahin.” Us ladke ne kaha aur phir aage badh kar uski aankhon se glasses kheench liye.
“Apne joggers utaar do.” Salar ne hairaani se use dekha.
“Joggers kis liye?” is baar us ladke ne jawaab dene ke bajaye poori quwwat se ek thappad Salar ke munh par maara. Wo ladkhada gaya, chand lamhon ke liye uski aankhon ke saamne taare naach gaye.
“Dobara koi sawaal mat karna, joggers utaaro.”
Salar khashm-geen nazron se use dekhna laga. Dusre ladke ne us par taaney hue revolver ke chamber ko ek baar jataane wale andaaz mein harkat di. Pehle ladke ne ek aur thappad is baar Salar ke dusre gaal par de maara.
“Ab dekho is taraf…… joggers utaaro.” Usne sakhti se kaha. Salar ne is baar uski taraf dekhe baghair niche jhuk kar aahista aahista apne dono joggers utaar diye. Ab uske pairon mein sirf juraabein reh gayi thin.
“Apni shirt utaaro.” Salar ek baar phir aitraaz karna chahta tha magar wo dobara thappad khaana nahin chahta tha. Agar un dono ke paas revolver na hote to wo jismaani taur par unse bahot behtar tha aur yaqeenan is waqt unki thukaai kar raha hota, magar unke paas revolver ki maujoodgi ne ek dam hi use unke saamne bey bas kar diya tha. Usne apni shirt utaar kar us ladke ki taraf badhai.
“Niche phenko.” Us ladke ne tahakkumaana andaaz mein kaha. Salar ne shirt niche phenk di. Us ladke ne apne bayen hath ko jeb mein daal kar koi cheez nikaali. Wo plastic ki baareek dori ka ek guchcha tha. Use dekhte hi Salar ki samajh mein aa gaya ke wo kya karna chahte hain. Wo be ikhteyaar pareshaan hua, shaam ho rahi thi, kuch hi der mein wahan andhera chaa jaata aur wo waha se rihaai kis tarah haasil karta.
“Dekho mujhe baandho mat, main kisi ko kuch nahin bataunga. Tum mera bag aur car le jao.” Is baar usne mudaafe’aana andaaza mein kaha.
Us ladke ne kuch bhi kahe baghair poori quwwat se uske pet mein ek ghoonsa maara. Salar dard se dohra ho gaya. Uske munh se ek cheekh nikli thi.
“Koi mashwara nahin.”
Us ladke ne jaise use yaad karwaya aur zor se ek taraf dhakela. Dard se bilbilaatey hue Salar ne andhon ki tarah uski pairwi ki. Ek darakht ke taney ke saath bitha kar us ladke ne badi maharat ke sath uske dono baazuon ko patle se taney ke peeche le jaa kar uski kalaaiyon par dori lapetna shuru kar di. Dusra ladka Salar se zara faasley par idhar udhar nazrein daudaatey hue Salar par revolver taana raha.
Uske haathon ko achi tarah baandhney ke baad us ladke ne saamne aa kar uske pairon ki juraabein utaarin aur phir first aid kit mein maujood qainchi se usne Salar ki shirt ki pattiyaan kaatni shuru kar din. Un mein se kuch pattiyon ko usne ek baar phir badi mahaarat ke saath uske takhnon ke gird lapet kar girah laga di. Phir usne tissue ka packet khola aur us mein maujood saare tissue bahar nikaal liye.
“Munh kholo.” Salar jaanta tha wo ab kya karne wala hai. Wo jitni gaaliyaan use dil mein de sakta tha us waqt de raha tha. Us ladke ne yake-baad-deegrey wo saare tissue us me munh mein thoons diye aur phir shirt ki waahid bach jaane wali patti ko ghodey ki lagaam ki tarah uske munh mein daalte hue darakhte ke taney ke peechey use baandh diya.
Dusra ladka ab itmenaan se bag band kar raha tha, phir chand minton ke baad wo dono waha se ghayab ho chuke the. Unke wahan se jaate hi Salar ne apne aap ko aazad karne ki koshish kar di, magar jald hi use andaaza ho gaya ke wo ek bahot badi musibat mein giraftaar ho chuka hai. Us ladke ne badi mahaarat ke sath use baandha tha, wo sirf hilne julne ki koshish se khud ko aazad nahin kar sakta tha, na hi dori dheeli kar sakta tha. Wo dori us ke harkat karne par uske gosht ke andar ghusti hui mehsoos ho rahi thi. Uski haalat is waqt bey had kharaab thi. Wo na kisi ko aawaz de sakta than aa dusrey tareeqey se khud apni taraf kisi ko mutawajjah kar sakta tha.
Uske ird gird qad aadam jhaadiyaan thin aur shaam ke dhaltey saayon mein un jhaadiyon mein uski taraf kisi ka mutawajjah ho jaana koi mo’jeza hi ho sakta tha. Uske jism par us waqt libaas ke naam par sirf ghutnon se kuch niche tak latakne wali Bermuda shorts ke alawa aur kuch bhi nahin tha aur shaam hone ke sath sath khunki badh rahi thi. Ghar mein koi ye nahin jaanta tha ke wo hiking ke liye aaya hua hai aur jab ghar na pahonchne par uski talaash shuru hogi tab bhi yahan is taareeki mein darakhton aur jhaadiyon ke darmiyaan bandhe hue uske wajood tak nahin pahonch sakte the.
Aadhe ghanta ki jadd-o-jahed ke baad jab apne pairon ke gird maujood pattiyon ko dheela karne aur phir unhein kholne mein kaamyaab hua, us waqt sooraj mukammal ghuroob ho chuka tha agar chaand na nikla hota to shayad wo apne haath paaon aur ird gird ke maahol ko bhi na dekh paata. Ikka dukka guzarne wali gaadiyon aur logon ka shor ab na hone ke barabar tha. Uske ird gird jheenguron ki aawazein goonj rahi thin aur wo gardan se kamar tak apni pusht par darakht ke taney ki wajah se aane wali ragad aur kharaashon ko bakhubi mehsoos kar sakta tha. Darakht ke dusri taraf uske haathon ki kalaaiyon mein maujood dori ab uske gosht mein utri hui thi. Wo haathon ko mazeed harkat dene ke qaabil nahin raha tha. Wo kalaaiyon se uthti teesein badaasht nahin kar paa raha tha. Uske munh ke andar maujood tissues ab gal chuke the aur unke galne ki wajah se wo munh mein lagaam ki tarah kasi hui patti ko harkat dene laga tha magar wo galey se aawaz nikaalne mein ab bhi buri tarah nakaam tha kyun ke wo un gale hue tissues ko naa nigal sakta tha, na ugal sakta tha. Wo itne zyada the ke wo unhein chewing gum ki tarah chabaaney mein bhi nakaam tha.
Uske jism par kapkapi taari ho rahi thi. Wo subah tak is haalat mein wahan yaqeenan thithur kar mar jaata agar khauf ya kisi zehriley keedey ke kaatne se naa marta to. Uske jism par ab chote chote keedey reng rahe the aur baar baar wo use kaat rahe the. Wo apni barhana taangon par chalne aur kaatne wale keedon ko jhatak raha tha magar baaqi jism par rengney wale keedon ko jhatakne mein nakaam tha aur wo nahin jaanta tha ke un chote keedon ke baad use aur kin keedon ka saamna karna padega aur agar wahan bichchoo aur saanp hote to…….
Waqt guzarne ke sath sath uski haalat mazeed kharaab ho rahi thi “Aakhir ye sab mere saath kyun ho raha hai? Aakhir main ne kya kiya hai?” wo bey chaargi se sochne mein masroof tha. “Aur main yahan mar gaya to…… to meri laash tak dobara kisi ko nahin milegi. Keede makodey aur jaanwar mujhe kha jayenge.”
Uski haalat ghair hone lagi. Ek ajeeb tarah ke khauf ne use apni giraft mein le liya. To kya main is tarah marunga, yahan…….. is haalat mein……….. Bey libaas……..bey nishaan…………ghar walon ko pata tak nahin hoga mere barey mein. Kya mera anjaam ye hona hai………. Uske dil ki dhadkan rukney lagi. Use apni maut se ek dam khauf aaya, itna khauf ke use saans lena mushkil lagne laga. Use yun laga jaise maut uske saamne usse chand qadam ke faasley par khadi ho. Uske intezaar mein. Ye dekhne ke wo kis tarah sisak sisak kar marta hai.
Wo dard ki parwah kiye baghair ek baar phir apni kalaaiyon ki dori ko todne ya dheeli karne ki koshish karne laga, uske baazu shal hone lage.
15 minute baad usne ek baar phir apni jadd-o-jahed chod di aur is waqt use ehsaas hua ke uske munh ki patti dheeli ho gayi thi, wo gardan ko hilatey hue use munh se nikaal sakta tha. Us ke baad us ne tissues nikaal diye the. Agle kai minute wo gehrey saans leta raha phir wo buland aawaz mein apni madad ke liye aawazein dene laga. Itni buland aawaz mein jitni wo koshish kar sakta tha.
Uska andaaz bilkul hizyaani tha. Aadhe ghante tak musalsal aawazein dete rehne ke baad uski himmat aur gala donon jawaab de gaye. Uska saans phool raha tha, yun jaise wo kai meel daudta raha ho magar ab bhi koi uski madad ke liye nahin aaya tha. kalaayi ke zakhm ab uske liye naa qaabil-e-bardaasht ho rahe the aur keedey ab uske chehre aur gardan par bhi kaat rahe the. Wo nahin jaanta tha ek dam use kya hua, bas wo buland aawaz mein bachchon ki tarah phoot phoot kar roney laga.
Wo zindagi mein pehli baar itni buri tarah ro raha tha. Shayad zindagi mein pehli baar use apni bebasi ka ehsaas ho raha tha aur is waqt darakht ke us taney ke saath bandhe sisaktey hue use ehsaas hua ke wo marna nahin chahta hai. Wo maut se usi tarah khauf zada ho raha tha jis tarah New Haven mein hua tha. Wo nahin jaanta tha wo kitni der use tarah bebasi ke aalam mein buland aawaz mein rota raha phir uske aansu khusk hone lage. Shayad wo itna thak chuka tha ke ab rona bhi uske liye mumkin nahin raha tha. Nidhaal sa ho kar usne darakht ke taney se sar tikaatey hue aankhein band kar lin. Uske kandhon aur baazuon mein itna dard ho raha tha ke use lag raha tha wo kuch der mein maflooj ho jayenge. Phir wo kabhi unhein harkat nahin de sakega.
“Main ne kabhi kisi ke sath is tarah nahin kiya phir mere saath ye sab kyun hua?” Uski aankhon se ek baar phir aansu behne lage.
“Salar! Mere liye pehle hi bahot problems hain, tum is mein izaafa na karo, meri zindagi pehle hi bahot mushkil hai aur har guzarte din ke saath aur mushkil hoti jaa rahi hai. Kam az kam tum to meri situation ko samjho, meri mushkilaat ko mat badhao.” Darakht ke taney ke sath tek lagaye Salar ne apni aankhein khol din. Uska halaq khushk ho raha tha. Niche, bahot niche, bahot door…….. Islamabad ki raushniyaan nazar aa rahi thin.
“Main tumhare masail mein izaafa karne ki koshish kar raha hoon? Main…….. My dear Imama! Main to tumhari hamdardi mein ghul raha hoon, tumhare masaail ko khatm karne ki koshish kar raha hoon. Tum khud socho, mere sath reh kar tum kitni achi aur mehfooz zindagi guzaar sakti ho.” Salar ne apne hont bheench liye.
“Salar! Mujhe talaaq de do.” Bharrayi hui lajaajat aamez aawaz.
“Sweet heart! Tum court mein jaa kar le lo. Jaisa ke tum keh chuki ho.”
Wo ab chup chaap khud se bahot door nazar aane wali raushniyon ko dekh raha tha. Koi uske saamne jaise aayina le kar khada ho gaya tha jis mein wo apna aks dekh sakta tha aur apne sath sath uska bhi.
“Main ne Imama ke sath sirf mazaaq kiya tha.” Wo badbadaya.
“Main……….. main use koi takleef pahonchaane ka iraada nahin rakhta tha.” Use apne alfaaz khokhley lage. Wo pata nahin kis ko wazahat dene ki koshish kar raha tha. Bahot der tak wo usi tarah Islamabad ki raushniyon ko dekhta raha phir uski aankhein dhundlaane lagin.
“Main manta hoon, mujh se kuch ghaltiyaan hog ayin.”
Is baar uski aawaz bharrayi hui sargoshi thi. “Main ne jaante boojhtey uske liye masaail khade karne ki koshish ki. Main ne use dhoka diya magar mujh se ghalti ho gayi aur mujhe pachtawa bhi hai. Main jaanta hoon mere talaaq na dene se aur Jalaal ke barey mein jhoot bol dene se use bahot zyada pareshaani ka saamna karna pada hoga. Mujhe waqai pachtawa hai is sab ke liye magar iske alawa to main ne kisi aur ko kabhi dhoka nahin diya, ya kisi ke liye pareshani khadi nahin ki.”
Wo ek baar phir roney laga.
“Mere Khuda…….. Agar ek baar main yahan se bach gaya, main yahan se nikal gaya to Imama ko dhoondunga, main use talaaq de dunga, main Jalaal ke barey mein bhi use sach bata dunga. Bas ek baar aap mujhe yahan se jaane dein.”
Wo ab phoot phoot kar ro raha tha. Pehli baar use ehsaas ho raha tha ke Imama ne uske talaaq dene se inkaar par kaisa mehsoos kiya hoga. Shayad is tarah usne bhi apne haath bandhe hue mehsoos kiye honge jis tarah wo kar raha tha.
Waha baithe hue pehli baat wo Imama ki bebasi, khauf aur takleef ko mehsoos kar sakta tha. Usne Jalaal Ansar ki shadi ke barey mein usse jhoot bola tha aur uske jhoot par Imama ke chehrey ka ta’assur use ab bhi yaad tha. Us waqt wo us ta’assur se bey had mehzooz hua tha. Wo Islamabad se Lahore tak taqreeban poori raat roti rahi thi aur wo bey had masroor tha.
Wo is waqt uski zehni aur jazbaati kaifiyat ka andaaza kar sakta tha. Us Andheri raat mein us gaadi mein safar karte hue use apne aage aur peeche kuch bhi nazar nahin aa raha hoga. Waahid panaah gaah, jis ka wo soch kar nikli thi, wo Jalaal Ansar ka ghar tha aur Salar Sikandar ne use wahan jaane nahin diya tha. Wo raat ke is paher wahan aasaab mein utarne wali taareeki mein baith kar un andeshon aur khauf ka andaaza kar sakta tha jo us raat Imama ko rula rahe the.
“Mujhe afsos hai, mujhe waqai afsos hai laikin……….. laikin main kya kar sakta hoon. Agar……… agar wo mujhe dobara mili to main usse excuse kar lunga. Main jis had tak mumkin hua uski madad karunga magar is waqt…….. Is waqt to main kuch bhi nahin kar sakta.
Agar………. Agar main ne kabhi…….. kabhi koi neki ki hai to uske badley rihaai dila de. Oh god please…….. please………. Please.” Usne behtey hue aansuon ke saath apni nekiyaan ginney ki koshish ki jinhein ginwa sakey. Is waqt pehli baar us par ye haulnaak inkeshaaf hua ke usne zindagi mein ab tak koi neki nahin ki thi. Koi neki jise wo is waqt Allah ke saamne pesh kar ke uske badley mein rihaai maangta. Ek aur khauf ne phir usko apni giraft mein le liya tha. Usne zindagi mein kabhi khairaat nahin ki thi aur wo is par yaqeen nahin rakhta tha. Wo hotels aur restaurants mein tip khush dili se diya karta tha, magar kabhi kisi faqeer ke haath phailaane par usne use kuch nahin diya tha.
School college mein mukhtalif kaamon ke liye jab fund jama hote tab bhi wo tickets khareedney ya bechney se saaf inkaar kar deta.
“Main charity pa yaqeen nahin rakhta.” Uski zabaan par rookhey andaz mein sirf ek hi jumla hota.
“Mere paas itni faaltu raqm nahin hai ke main har jagah lutaata phiroon.” Uska ye rawaiyya New Haven mein bhi jaari raha tha. Ye sab sirf charity tak hi mehdood nahin tha. Wo charity ke alaawa bhi kisi ki madad karne par yaqeen nahin rakhta tha. Use koi aisa lamha yaad nahin aaya, jab usne kisi ki madad ki ho, sirf Imama ki madad ki thi aur us madad ke baad usne jo kuch kiya tha uske baad wo use neki nahin samajh sakta tha. Wo Ibaadat karne ka bhi aadi nahin tha. Shayad bachpan mein usne chand baar Sikandar ke saath Eid ki namaaz padhi ho magar wo bhi Ibaadat se zyada ek rasm thi. Use New Haven mein wo raat yaad aayi jab wo Isha ki namaaz adhoori chod kar bhaag aaya tha aur iske sath use us hooker ko diye hue 50 dollars bhi yaad aaye. Shayad wo waahid mauqa tha jab use kisi par taras aaya tha. Wo mustaqil apne zahen ko apni kisi neki ki talaash mein khangaalta raha magar nakaam raha.
Aur phir use apne gunaah yaad aane lage. Kya jo wo nahin kar chuka tha. Uske aansu, gidgidaana, rona sab kuch ek dam khatm ho gaya. Hisaab kitaab bilkul saaf tha. Wo agar aaj is haalat mein mar jaata to uske saath koi zyadati na hoti. 22 saal ki umr mein wahan baithe kayi ghantey sarf karne par bhi jis shakhs ko apni koi neki yaad na aaye jab ke us shakhs ka IQ level 150+ ho aur uski memory photographic……….. wo shakhs Allah se ya chahta ho ke use uski kisi neki ke badley is aazmaish se riha kar diya jaaye jis mein wo phans gaya hai.
“What is next to ecstasy?”
Usne teenage mein cocaine peetey hue ek baar apne dost se pucha tha, wo bhi cocaine le raha tha.
“More ecstasy.” Usne kaha tha. Usne cocaine lete hue use dekha.
“There is no end to ecstasy. It is preceded by pleasure and followed by more ecstasy.”
Wo nashey ki haalat mein usse keh raha tha. Salar mutmayin nahin hua.
“No, it does end. What happens when it ends? When it really ends?”
Uske dost ne ajeeb si nazron se use dekha.
“You know it yourself, don’t you? You have been through it off and on.”
Salar jawaab dene ki bajaye dobara cocaine lene laga tha.
Uski kalaaiyon ke gosht mein utarti dori use ab jawaab de rahi thi.
“Pain.”
“What Is next to pain?”
Usne mazhaka khaiz lehje mein us raat Imama Hashim se pucha tha.
“Nothingness.”
Rassi numa koi cheez lehraatey hue uske jism par giri thi. Uske sar, chehrey, gardan, seeney, pet…….. aur wahan se tez raftaari se rengti hui utar gayi. Salar ne kaanptey jism ke saath apni cheekh roki thi. Wo koi saanp tha jo use kaatey baghair chala gaya tha. Uska jism paseeney mein naha gaya tha. Uska jism ab kisi jaadey ke mareez ki tarah thar thar kaanp raha tha.
“Nothingness.”
Aawaz bilkul saaf thi.
“And what is next to nothingness?”
Tehqeer aamez aawaz aur muskuraahat uski thi.
“Hell.”
Usne yahi kaha tha. Wo pichle 8 ghantey se wahan bandha hua tha. Us weeraaney, us taareeki, us wehshat naak tanhaayi mein. Wo poora ek ghanta halaq ke bal poori quwwat se madad ke liya pukaarta raha tha. Yahan tak ke uska halaq aawaz nikaalne ke qaabil nahin raha tha.
Nothingness se Hell wo un donon ke beech kahin moallaq tha ya shayad nothingness mein daakhil hone wala tha aur Hell tak pahonchne wala tha.
“Tumhein khauf nahin aata ye poochtey hue ke Hell ke baad kya aayega? Dauzakh ke baad aagey kya aa sakta hai? Insaan ke maa’toob aur maghzoob ho jaane ke baad bachta hi kya hai jise jaanne ka tumhein ishteyaaq hai?”
Salar ne wehshat bhari nazron se ird gird dekha. Wo kya tha? Qabr, ya dauzakh ya zindagi mein uska ek manzar……… bhook, pyaas, bebasi, bey yaari-o-madadgaari, jism par chalte keedey jinhein wo khud ko kaatney se rok tak nahin paa raha tha. Maflooj hote hue haathon, pusht aur haathon ki kalaaiyon par lamha ba lamha badhte hue zakhm………… khauf tha ya dehshat, pata nahin kyat ha magar wo buland aawaz mein paagalon ki tarah cheekhein maarne laga tha. Uski cheekhein door door tak fizaa mein goonj rahi thin. Hizyaani aur junooni andaaz mein buland ki jaane wali be maqsad aur khaufnaak cheekhein. Usne zindagi mein is tarah ka khauf kabhi mehsoos nahin kiya tha. Kabhi bhi nahin. Use apne ird gird ajeeb se bhoot chalte phirte nazar aane lage the.
Use lag raha tha uske dimaagh ki rag phatney wali hai ya phir nervous breakdown, phir uski cheekhein aahista aahista dam todti gayin. Uska gala phir band ho gaya tha. Ab sirf sararaahatein thin jo use sunaayi de rahi thin. Use yaqeen ho chuka tha ke wo ab mar raha hai. Uska heart fail ho raha hai yap hir wo apna zehni tawaazun kho dene wala hai aur usi waqt achaanak taney ke peechey bandi hui kalaaiyon ki dori dheeli ho gayi. Hosh-o-hawaas khotey hue uske aasaab ne ek baar phir jhatka liya. Usne nichla hont daanton mein dabaatey hue apne haathon ko harkat di. Dori aur dheeli hoti gayi. Shayad musalsal taney ki ragad lagte lagte darmiyaab se toot gayi thi. Usne haathon ko kuch aur harkat di aur tab use ehsaas hua ke wo darakht ke taney se aazad ho chuka tha.
Usne be yaqeeni ke aalam mein apne haathon ko seedha kiya. Dard ki tez lehrein si uske baazuon se guzrin.
“Kya main………. Main bach gaya hoon?”
“Kyun? Kis liye?” maauf hote hue zahen ke sah usne apni gardan ke gird maujood us patti ko utaara jo pehle uske munh ke gird baandhi gayi thi, baazuon ko di gayi maamuli harkat se uske munh se karaah nikli thi. Uske baazuon mein shadeed takleef ho rahi thi. Itni takleef ke use lag raha tha wo dobara kabhi apne baazu istemaal nahin kar sakega. Uski taangein bhi sun ho rahi thin. Usn khade hone ki koshish ki. Wo ladkhada kar baazuon ke bal zameen par gira. Halki si cheekh uske munh se nikli. Usne dusri koshish haathon aur ghutnon ke bal ki. Is baar wo khada hone mein kaamyaab ho gaya.
Wo dono ladke uske joggers aur ghadi bhi le jaa chuke the. Uski juraabein wahin kahin padi thin. Wo andhere mein unhein tatol kar pahen sakta tha magar baazuon aur ko istemaal mein laana padta aur wo is waqt ye kaam karne ke qaabil nahin tha, na jismaani taur par na zehni taur par.
Wo is waqt sirf wahan se nikal jaana chahta tha. Har qeemat par, andhere mein thokarein khata, jhaadiyon se ulajhta, kharaashein leta wo kisi na kisi tarah us raaste par aa gaya tha jis raaste se wo dono hata kar use wahan le aaye the aur phir nange paaon usne niche ka safar tay kiya. Uske pairon mein patthar aur kankariyaan chubh rahi thin magar wo jis zehni aur jismaani aziyyat ka shikaar tha uske saamne ye kuch bhi nahin tha. Wo ye nahin jaanta tha ke waqt kya hua tha magar use ye andaaza tha ke aadhi raat se zyada guzar chuki hai. Use niche aane mein kitna waqt laga aur usne ye safar kis tarah tay kiya. Wo nahin jaanta………. Use sirf ye yaad tha ke wo poore raastey buland aawaz se rota raha tha.
Islamabad ki sadkon par aa kar street lights ki raushni mein bhi usne apne huliye ko dekhne ki koshish nahin ki. Na hi kahin rukne ki khwaahish ki na hi kisi ki madad lene ki. Wo usi tarah rota hua ladkhadate hue qadmon ke saath us sadak ke kinaarey footpath par chalta raha.
Wo police ki ek petroling car thi jis ne sab se pehle use dekha tha aur uske paas aa kar ruk gayi. Andar maujood constable uske saamne niche utrey aur use rok liya. Wo pehli baar hosh-o-hawaas mein aaya tha magar us waqt bhi wo apni aankhon se behte hue aansuon par qaabu paane mein naakaam ho raha tha. Wo log ab usse puch rahe the magar wo kya jawaab deta.
Agle 15 minute mein wo ek hospital mein tha jahaan use first aid di gayi. Wo usse us ke ghar ka pata puch rahe the magar uska gala band tha. Wo unhein kuch bhi batane ke qaabil nahin tha. Sooje hue haathon ke saath usne ek kaaghaz par apne ghar ka phone number aur address ghaseet diya.
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https://theothermeunfolded.com/blog/peer-e-kaamil-roman-urdu-umera-ahmed-episode-104/
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https://theothermeunfolded.com/blog/peer-e-kaamil-roman-urdu-umera-ahmed-episode-102/
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Shabana Mukhtar