Disclaimer
This book is transliteration of Umera Ahmed’s masterpiece Peer-e-Kaamil WITHOUT HER PERMISSION.
This is only for those readers who understand Urdu but can’t read it. On Goodreads, some people asked meabout Roman transliteration of Peer-e-Kamil. I couldn’t find it, so I made a mental note to try and make it available to others for free when I get time. Then I forgot about it because I never get time.
And this morning, I got this book. Some kind soul had enough time to transliterate, print, and spiral bind and bring it home.
Anyone interested in reading the roman version can borrow from me.
And those online can read it here.
P.S. This is NOT English translation. If you want that, it’s available on Amazon.
“Main Salar se talaaq lena chahti hoon.” Wo masjid se waapsi par use le kar apni study mein aa gaye the aur Imama ne bila kisi tamheed ya tawaqquf ke apna mutaalba pesh kar diya.
“Aamna!” wo dam bakhud reh gaye the.
“Main uske sath nahin reh sakti.” Wo musalsal farsh par ghoor rahi thi.
“Aamna! Aap ke sath uski dusri shadi zaroor hai laikin uski pehli biwi ka koi pata nahin hai. Furqan bata raha tha ke taqreeban 9 saal se un donon mein koi raabta nahin hai aur shadi bhi nahin, sirf nikaah hua tha.”
Dr Sabt Ali uske inkaar ko pehle shadi ke sath jod rahe the.
“Kaun jaanta hai wo kahan hai, kahan nahin. 9 saal bahot lamba arsa hota hai.”
“Main uski pehli biwi ko jaanti hoon.” Usne usi tarah sar jhukaaye hue kaha.
“Aap?” Dr Sabt Ali ko yaqeen nahin aaya.
“Wo main hoon.” Usne pehli baar sar utha kar unhein dekha.
Wo bolne ke qaabil nahin rahe.
“Aap ko yaad hai 9 saal pehle main ek ladkey ke sath Islamabad se Lahore aayi thi jis ke barey mein aap ne mujhe baad mein bataya tha ke meri family ne uske khilaaf FIR darj karwaai hai.”
“Salar Sikandar……..” Dr Sabt Ali ne bey ikhteyaar uski baat kaati.
“Ye wahi Salar Sikandar hai.”Imama ne asbaat mein sar hila diya.
Wo jaise shock mein the. Salar Sikandar se unki Furqan ke tawassut se pehli mulaqaat Imama ke ghar se chale aane ke 4 saal baad hui thi aur unke zahen mein kabhi ye nahin aaya ke is Salar ka Imama se koi talluq ho sakta tha. 4 saal pehle suney jaane wale ek naam ko wo 4 saal baad milne wale ek dusrey shakhs ke sath natthi nahin kar sakte the aur kar bhi dete agar wo 4 saal pehle wale Salar se hi milte. Magar wo jis shakhs se mile the wo hafiz-e-Quran tha. Uske andaz-o-atwaar aur guftaar mein kahin us zehni mareez ka aks nahin paaya jaata tha jis ka hawala unhein Imama ne kai baar diya tha. Unka dhoka kha jaana fitri amr tha ya phir ye sab isi tarah tay kiya gaya tha.
“Aur aap ne 9 saal pehle usse shadi ki thi?” Wo abhi bhi bey yaqeeni ka shikaar the.
“Sirf nikaah.” Usne maddham aawaz mein kaha.
Aur phir usne unhein sab kuch bata diya. Dr Sabt Ali bahot der khamush rahe the phir unhon ne ek gehra saans lete hue kaha.
“Aap ko mujh par aitbaar karna chahiye the Aamna! Main aap ki madad kar sakta tha.”
Imama ki aankhon mein aansu aa gaye.
“Aap theek kehte hain mujhe aap par aitbaar kar lena chahiye tha magar us waqt mere liye ye bahot mushkil tha. Aap ko andaza hi nahin hai ke main us waqt kis zehni kaifiyat se guzar rahi thi ya phir shayad meri qismat mein ye aazmaish bhi likhi thi. ise aana hi tha.”
Wo baa tkarte karte ruki. Phir usne nam aankhon ke sath sar utha kar Dr Sabt Ali ko dekha aur muskuraney ki koshish ki.
“Laikin ab to sab kuch theek ho jayega. Ab to aap talaaq lene mein meri madad kar sakte hain.”
“Nahin, main ab is talaaq mein koi madad nahin kar sakta. Aamna! Main ne usse aap ki shadi karwaai hai.” Unhon ne jaise yaad dilaya.
“Isi liye to main aap se keh rahi hoon. Aap usse mujhe talaaq dilwa dein.”
“Laikin kyun? Main kyun usse aap ko talaaq dilwa doon?”
“Kyun ke ……… Kyun ke wo ek ……… achcha aadmi nahin hai. Kyun ke main ne apni zindagi ko Salar jaise aadmi ke sath guzaarney ka nahin socha. Ham do mukhtalif duniyaaon ke log hain.” Wo bey had dil bardaashta ho rahi thi.
“Main ne kabhi Allah se shikayat nahin ki abbu. Main ne kabhi Allah se shikayat nahin ki magar is baar mujhe Allah se bahot shikayat hai.”
Wo guluu-geer lehjey mein boli.
“Main itni mohabbat karti hoon Allah se……. aur dekhen Allah ne mere sath kya kiya hai. Mere liye duniya ke sab se burey aadmi ko chuna.”
Wo ab ro rahi thi.
“Ladkiyan itna kuch maangti hain……. Main ne to kuch bhi nahin maanga. Sirf ek saaleh aadmi maanga tha. Usne mujhe wo tak nahin diya. Kya Allah ne mujhe kisi saaleh aadmi ke qaabil nahin samjha?”
Wo bachchon ki tarah ro rahi thi.
“Imama! Wo saaleh aadmi hai.”
“Aap kyun use saaleh aadmi kehte hain? Wo saaleh aadmi nahin hai. Main uski jaanti hoon, main usko bahot achchi tarah jaanti hoon.”
“Main bhi usko bahot achchi tarah jaanta hoon.”
“Aap usko utna nahin jaante jitna main jaanti hoon. Wo sharaab peeta hai, wo nafsiyaati mareez hai, kai baar khud kushi ki koshish kar chuka hai. Garebaan khula chhod kar phirta hai. Aurat ko dekh kar apni nazar tak neechi rakhna nahin jaanta aur aap kehte hain wo saaleh aadmi hai?”
“Imama! Main uske maazi ko nahin jaanta, main uske haal ko jaanta hoon. Wo in mein se kuch bhi nahin jo aap keh rahi hain.”
“Aap kaise keh sakte hain ke wo aisa kuch nahin karta. Wo jhoota makkaar hai main usko jaanti hoon.”
“Wo aisa nahin hai.”
“Abbu! Wo aisa hi hai.”
“Ho sakta hai use waqai aap se mohabbat ho. Wo aap ki wajah se tabdeel ho gaya ho.”
“Mujhe aisi mohabbat ki zarurat nahin hai. Mujhe uski nazron se ghin aati hai. Mujhe uske khuley garebaan se ghin aati hai. Main aise kisi aadmi ki mohabbat nahin chahti. Wo badal nahin sakta. Aise log kabhi nahin badal sakte. Wo sirf apne aap ko chhupa lete hain.”
“Nahin, Salar aisa kuch nahin kar raha.”
“Abbu! Main Salar jaise kisi shakhs ke sath zindagi guzaarney ka soch bhi nahin sakti. Wo har cheez ka mazaq udata hai. Mazhab ka, zindagi ka, aurat hai……… kya hai jisey wo chutkiyon mein udaana nahin jaanta. Jis shakhs ke nazdeek mera apne mazhab ko chhod dena ek himaqat hai, jis ke nazdeek mazhab par baat karna waqt zaaye karne ke mutaradif hai, jo sirf ‘What is next to ecstasy’ ka matlab jaanne ke liye khud kushiyan karta phirta ho, jis ke nazdeek zindagi ka maqsad sirf aish hai. Wo mere sath mohabbat kare bhi to kya sirf mohabbat ki buniyaad par main uske sath zindagi guzaar sakti hoon? Kabhi nahin.”
“Saadhe aath saal se wo aap ke sath qayem hone wale is ittefaaqiya rishtey ko qayem rakhe hue hai. Aap ko aap ke tamaam nazariyaat aur aqaaid ko jaante hue bhi aur wo aap ke intezaar mein bhi hai. Ye sochte hue ke aap uske sath rehne par tayyar ho jayengi. Kya in saari khwahishon ke sath usne apne andar kuch tabdeeli nahin ki hogi?”
“Main ne uske sath zindagi nahin guzaarni. Main ne uske sath nahin rehna.” Wo ab bhi apni baat par musir thi. “Mujhe haq hai ke main us shakhs ke sath na rahun.”
“Laikin Allah ye kyun kar raha hai ke us shakhs ko baar baar aap ke saamne laa raha hai. Do dafa aap ka nikaah hua aur donon dafa usi aadmi se.”
Wo unka chehra dekhne lagi.
“Main ne zindagi mein zaroor koi gunaah kiya hoga, isliye mere sath aisa ho raha hai.” Usne bharrayi hui aawaz mein kaha.
“Aamna! Aap kabhi zid nahin karti thin phir ab kya ho gaya hai aap ko?” Dr Sabt Ali hairaan the.
“Aap mujhe majboor karenge to main aap ki baat maan lungi kyun ke aap ke mujh par itne ehsanaat hain ke main to aap ki kisi baat ko radd kar hi nahin sakti. Laikin aap agar ye kahenge ke main apni marzi aur khushi ke sath uske sath zindagi guzaarun to wo main kabhi nahin kar sakungi. Mujhe koi dilchaspi nahin hai ke wo kitna taalim yaafta hai, kitne achche ohdey par kaam kar raha hai ya mujhe kya de sakta hai. Aap ek an padh aadmi se shadi kar dete laikin wo achcha insaan hota to main kabhi aap se shikwa nahin karti laikin Salar……… Salar wo aankhon dekhi makkhi hai jis ko main apni khushi se nigal nahin sakti. Aap Salar ke barey mein wo jaante hain jo aap ne suna hai. Main uske barey mein wo jaanti hoon jo main ne dekha hai. Ham 15 saal ek dusrey ke hamsaaye rahe hain. Aap to usko chand saalon se jaante hain.”
“Aamna! Main aap ko majboor nahin karunga. Ye rishta aap apni khushi se qayem rakhna chahengi to theek laikin sirf mere kehne par use qayem rakhna chaho to aisa karne ki zarurat nahin hai. Aap ek baar Salar se mil lein phir bhi agar aap ka yahi mutaalba hua to main aap ki baat maan lunga.”
Dr Sabt Ali bey had sanjeeda the.
Usi waqt mulaazim ne Salar ke aane ki ittelaa di. Dr Sabt Ali ne apni ghadi par ek nazar daudaai aur mulaazim se kaha.
“Unhein andar le aao.”
“Yahan?” Mulaazim hairaan hua.
“Haan, yahin par.” Dr Sabt Ali ne kaha.
Imama utha khadi hui.
“Main abhi is tarah usse baat nahin karna chahti.”
Uska ishaara apni mutawarram aankhon aur surkh chehrey ki taraf tha.
“Aap ne abhi tak use dekha nahin hai. Aap use dekh lein.” Unhon ne dheemey lehjey mein usse kaha.
“Yahan nahin, main andar kamrey mein se use dekh lungi.”
Wo palat kar apne kamrey mein chali gayi. Kamrey ka darwaza adh khula tha. Usne use band nahin kiya. Kamrey mein taariki thi. adh khuley darwazey se lounge se aane wali raushni itni kaafi nahin thi ke kamrey ke andar achchi tarah se dekha jaa sakta. Wo apne bed par aa kar baith gayi.
Apne bed par baith kar usne apni ungliyon se apni aankhon ko masla. Wo jahan baithi thi wahan se lounge ko bakhubi dekh sakti thi. 9 saal baad usne adh khuley darwazey se lounge mein namudaar hote us shakhs ko dekha jise wo ek taweel arsa pehle murda samajh chuki thi, jis se zyada nafrat aur ghin use kabhi kisi se mehsoos nahin hui thi, jise wo bad tareen logon mein se ek samajhti thi aur jis ke nikaah mein wo pichhley kai saalon se thi.
Taqdeer kya iske alawa kisi aur cheez ko kehte hain?
Apni aankhon mein utarti dhund ko ungliyon ke poron se saaf kiya. Dr Sabt Ali usse galey mil rahe the. Uski pusht Imama ki taraf thi. Usne moaneqa karne se pehle hath mein pakdey hue phool aur ek packet ko center table par rakha tha. Moanqey ke baad wo sofe par baith gaya aur tab pehli baar Imama ne uska chehra dekha.
Khula garebaan, galey mein latakti zanjeerein, hathon mein lataktey bands, rubber band mein bandhey baalon ki pony, wahan asa kuch nahin tha. Wo cream color ke ek saada se shalwar suit par waistcoat pehne hue the.
“Haan zaahir taur par bahot badal gaya hai.” Use dekhte hue usne socha. Use dekh kar koi bhi yaqeen nahin kar sakta ke ye kabhi…… uski soch ka silsila toot gaya. Wo ab Dr Sabt Ali se baatein kar raha tha. Dr Sabt Ali use shadi ki mubarak baad de rahe the. Wo wahan baithi un donon ki aawaz baa aasani sun sakti thi aur wo Dr Sabt Ali ke istefsaar par unhein Imama ke sath hone wale apne nikaah ke barey mein bata raha tha. Wo apne pachhtawey ka izhaar kar raha tha ke kis tarah usne Jalaal ki shadi ke barey mein usse jhoot bola. Kis tarah usne talaaq ke barey mein usse jhoot bola.
“Main uske barey mein sochta hoon to mujhe bahot takleef hoti hai. Itni takleef ke main aap ko bata nahin sakta. Wo mere zahen se nikalti hi nahin.”
Wo dheemey lehjey mein Dr Sabt Ali ko bata raha tha.
“Bahot arsey to main abnormal raha. Usne mujh se Hazrat Muhammad ﷺ ke waastey madad maangi thi. ye keh kar ke main ek musalmaan hoon, khatm-e-nubuwwat par yaqeen rakhne wala musalmaan. Main dhoka nahin dunga use……… Aur meri pasti dekhein ke main ne use dhoka diya. Ye jaanne ke bawajood ke wo mere Nabi ﷺ se is qadr mohabbat karti hai ke sab kuch chhod kar ghar se nikal aayi aur main uska mazaq udaata raha, use pagal samajhta aur kehta raha. Jis raat main use Lahore chhodney aaya tha, usne mujhe raastey mein kaha tha ke ek din har cheez mujhe samajh aa jayegi, tab mujhe apni auqaat ka pata chal jaayega.”
Wo ajeeb andaaz mein hansa tha.
“Usne bilkul theek kaha tha. Mujhe waqai har cheez ki samajh aa gayi. Itne saalon mein, main ne Allah se itni dua aur tauba ki hai ke ……….”
Wo baat karte karte ruk gaya. Imama ne use center table ke shishey ke kinarey par apni ungli phertey dekha. Wo jaanti thi ke wo aansu zabt karne ki koshish kar raha tha.
“Baaz dafa mujhe lagta hai ke shayad meri dua aur tauba qubool ho gayi.” Wo ruka.
“Magar us din……. Main Aamna ke sath nikaah ke kaaghzaat par dastakhat kar raha tha to mujhe apni auqaat ka pata chal gaya. Meri dua aur tauba kuch bhi qubool nahin hui. Aisa hota to mujhe Imama milti, Aamna nahin. Khwahish to Allah insaan ko wo de deta hai ke mojezon ke alawa koi cheez jise pura kar hi nahin sakti. Meri khwahishein dekhen, main ne Allah se kya maanga. Ek aisi ladki jise kisi aur se mohabbat hai. Jo mujhe asfal-us-saafileen samajhti hai. Jise mein 9 saal se dhund raha hoon magar uska kuch pata nahin hai.
“Aur main …….. main khwahish liye phir raha hoon uske sath apni zindagi guzaarney ki. Yun jaise wo mil hi jaayegi, yun jaise wo mil gayi to mere sath rehne ko tayyar ho jayegi, yun jaise wo Jalaal Ansar ko bhula chuki ho. Waliyon jaisi ibaadat karta to shayad Allah mere liye ye mojezey kar deta par mere jaise aadmi ke liye……… meri auqaat to ye hai ke log Khana-e-Kaaba ke darwazey par khade ho kar bakhshish maangtey hain. Main wahan khada ho kar bhi use hi maangta raha. Shayad Allah ko yahi bura laga.”
Imama ke jism se ek current guzra tha. Ek jhamaakey ke ki tarah wo khwaab use yaad aaya tha.
“Mere Allah!” usne apne donon haath honton par rakh liye the. Wo bey yaqeeni se Salar ko dekh rahi thi. wo khwaab mein us shakhs ka chehra nahin dekh saki thi.
“Kya wo ye shakhs tha, ye jo mere saamne baitha hai, ye aadmi?”
Usne khwaab mein us aadmi ko Jalaal samjha tha magar use yaad aaya Jalaal daraaz qad nahin tha, wo aadmi daraaz qad tha. Salar Sikandar daraaz qad tha. Uske haath kaanpney lage the. Jalaal ki rangat gandumi thi. Us aadmi ki rangat saaf thi. Salar ki rangar saaf thi. usne khwaab mein us aadmi ke kandhey par ek teesri cheez bhi dekhi thi. wo teesri cheez?
Usne kaanptey hathon se apne chehrey ko mukammal taur par dhaanp liya tha.
Wo mojezon ke na hone ki baatein kar raha tha aur……… Andar Dr Sabt Ali khamush the. Wo kyun khamush the. Ye sirf wo aur Imama jaante the, Salar Sikandar nahin. Imama ne apni aankhein ragdin aur chehrey se hath hata diye. Usne ek baar phir behte hue aansuon ke sath us shakhs ko dekha.
Na wo wali tha na darwesh……… sirf sachche dil se tauba karne wala shakhs tha. Use dekhte hue use pehli baar ehsaas hue ke Jalaal aur uske darmiyaan kya cheez aa kar khadi ho gayi thi jis ne itne saalon mein Jalaal ke liye uski ek dua qubool nahin hone di. Kaun si cheez aakhri waqt mein Fahad ki jagah usko le aayi thi.
Is shakhs mein koi na koi baat to aisi hogi ke uski duayein qubool huin, meri nahin. Har baar mujhe palta kar usi ki taraf bheja gaya.
Usne nam aankhon ke sath use dekhte hue socha. Usne Dr Sabt Ali ko use saaleh aadmi kehte suna. Wo jaanti thi wo ye baat kis liye keh rahe the. Wo Salar ko nahin bata rahe the. Wo Imama ko bata rahe the. Wo use saaleh qaraar na bhi dete tab bhi wo use saaleh maanne par majboor thi.
Uske paas jo gawaahi thi wo duniya ki har gawaahi se badh kar thi. uske paas jo saboot tha use baad aur kisi saboot ki zarurat thi na gunjaaish. Use kya ‘bata’ diya gaya tha, use kya ‘jata’ diya gaya tha. Wo jaanti thi……… sirf wahi jaan sakti thi.
Iftaar ke baad Salar aur Dr Sabt Ali namaaz padhne ke liye chale gaye.
Wo munh hath dho kar kitchen mein chali aayi. Unke aane se pehle usne mulaazim ke sath mil kar khana laga diya tha. Salar ki wapsi khane ke baad hui thi aur uske jaane ke baad Dr Sabt Ali jis waqt kitchen mein aaye us waqt Imama kitchen ki mez par baithi khana kha rahi thi. uski aankhein ab bhi mutawarram thin magar chehra pur sukoon tha.
“Main ne Salar ko aap ke barey mein nahin bataya laikin main chahta hoon ke aap ab jald az jald usse mil kar baat kar lein.”
Dr Sabt Ali ne usse kaha.
“Mujhe usse koi baat nahin karni.” Wo paani peetey hue ruk gayi.
“Use Allah ne mere liye muntakhab kiya hai aur main Allah ke intekhaab ko radd karne ki jurrat nahin kar sakti. Usne kaha hai ke wo tauba kar chuka hai, wo na bhi karta waisa hi hota jaisa pehle tha tab bhi main uske paas chali jaati agar main jaan leti ke use Allah ne mere liye muntakhab kiya hai”
Wo ab dobara paani pi rahi thi.
“Aap usse kahein mujhe le jaaye.”
Next episode:
https://theothermeunfolded.com/blog/peer-e-kaamil-roman-urdu-umera-ahmed-episode-192/
Prev episode:
https://theothermeunfolded.com/blog/peer-e-kaamil-roman-urdu-umera-ahmed-episode-190/
Stay tuned for more book reviews.
Until next time, happy reading!
~~~
Want more of my trademark philosophy daily? Do three things, not necessarily in that order.
Subscribe to my blog.
Find my books on Amazon.
Show some love!
Shabana Mukhtar