Disclaimer
This book is transliteration of Umera Ahmed’s masterpiece Peer-e-Kaamil WITHOUT HER PERMISSION.
This is only for those readers who understand Urdu but can’t read it. On Goodreads, some people asked meabout Roman transliteration of Peer-e-Kamil. I couldn’t find it, so I made a mental note to try and make it available to others for free when I get time. Then I forgot about it because I never get time.
And this morning, I got this book. Some kind soul had enough time to transliterate, print, and spiral bind and bring it home.
Anyone interested in reading the roman version can borrow from me.
And those online can read it here.
P.S. This is NOT English translation. If you want that, it’s available on Amazon.
Waseem ne Imama ko door se hi lawn mein baithe hue dekh liya. Wo kanon par headphone lagaye walkman par kuch sun rahi thi. Waseem dabe qadmon uski pusht ki janib se uske aqab mein gaya aur uske paas ja kar usne aikdam Imama ke kanon se headphone ke taar kheench liye. Imama ne barq raftari se walkman ka stop button dabaya tha.
“Kya suna ja raha hai yahan akele baithe?” Waseem ne buland aawaz mein kehte hue headphone ko apne kanon me thoons liya magar Imama cassette band kar chuki thi. Kursi se uth kar khade ho kar usne headphone ko apni taraf kheenchte hue Waseem se kaha.
“Badtameezi ki bhi koi had hoti hai Waseem! Behave yourself.” Uska chehra ghusse se surkh ho raha tha. Waseem ne headphone ke siron ko nahin chhoda. Imama ke ghusse ka uspar kuch asar nahi hua tha.
“Main sunna chahta hoon, tum kya sun rahi thin. Is mein badtameezi wali kya baat hai, cassette on karo.”
Imama ne kuch jhunjhlate hue headphone ko walkman se alag kar diya. “Main tumhare sunne ke liye walkman le kar yahan nahin baithi. Dafa ho jao ye headphone le kar.”
Wo ek baar phir apni kursi par baith gayi. Usne walkman mazbooti ke sath apne hath mein jakda hua tha.
Waseem ko laga kuch ghabrayi hui hai, magar ghabrayegi kyun? Waseem ne socha aur is khayaal ko zahen se jhatakte hue samne wali kursi par ja kar baith gaya. Headphone ko usne mez par rakh diya.
“Ye lo, apna ghussa khatm karo. Wapas kar raha hoon main, tum suno, jo bhi sun rahi ho.” Usne bade sulah joo andaaz mein hath uthate hue kaha.
“Nahin mujhe ab nahin sunna kuch, tum headphone rakho apne paas.”Imama ne headphone ki taraf hath nahin badhaya.
“Waise tum kya sun rahi thin?”
“Kya suna ja sakta hai?”Imama ne usi ke andaaz me kaha.
“Ghazlein sun rahi hongi?” Waseem ne khayal zahir kiya.
“Tumhein pata hai Waseem! Tum mein bahot sari aadatein budhi aurton wali hain?”
“Mas’alan?”
“Mas’alan baal ki khal utaarna.”
“Aur?”
“Aur dusron ki jasoosi karte phirna aur sharminda bhi na hona.”
“Aur tumhein pata hai tum aahista aahista kitni khud gharz hoti ja rahi ho?” Waseem ne turki ba turki jawab dete hue kaha. Imama ne uski baat ka bura nahin mana.
“Acha! Tumhein pata chal gaya ke main khud gharz hoon?” Usne is baar muskurate hue kaha.
“Haalanke tum jitne bewaqoof ho main soch bhi nahin sakti thi ke ye nateeja akhaz kar loge.”
“Tum agar mujhe sharminda karne ki koshish kar rahi ho to mat karo, main sharminda nahin honga.” Waseem ne dhitayi ka muzahera karte hue kaha.
“Phir bhi aise kaamon ki koshish to har ek par farz hoti hai.”
“Aaj tumhari zabaan kuch zyada nahin chal rahi?” Waseem ne use ghaur se dekhte hue kaha.
“Ho sakta hai.”
“Ho sakta hai nahin, aisa hi hai. Chalo acha hai, wo Chup Shah ka roza to tod diya hai tum ne jo Islamabad aane par tum rakh leti ho.”Imama ne ghaur se Waseem ko dekha.
“Kaunsa Chup Shah ka roza?”
“Tum jab se Lahore gayi ho khasi badal gayi ho.”
“Mujh par studies ka bahot bojh hota hai.”
“Sab par hota hai Imama! Magar koi bhi studies ko sar par itna sawaar nahin karta.” Waseem ne uski baat kaat’te hue kaha.
“Chodo is fizool bahes ko, tum batao tum aaj kal kya kar rahe ho?”
“Aish.” Woh usi tarah kursi jhulata raha.
“Wo to tum pura saal hi karte ho. Main aaj kal ki khaas masroofiyaat ka puch rahi hoon.”
“Aaj kal to bas doston ke sath phir raha hoon. Tumhein pata hona chahiye ke papers ke baad meri masroofiyat kya hoti hain. Sab kuch bhulti ja rahi ho tum.” Waseem ne afsos bhari nazron se kaha.
“Main ne is ummeed mein ye sawal kiya tha ke shayad is saal tum mein kuch behtari aa jaye magar nahin, main ne bekaar sawal kiya.”Imama ne uske tabsare ke jawab mein kaha.
“Tumhein pata hona chahiye ke main tumse ek saal bada hoon, tum nahi. Isliye ab apni malamti taqreer khatm karo.” Waseem ne use jatate hue kaha.
“Ye sath walon ke ladke se talluqaat ka kya haal hai?”Imama ko achank se yaad aaya.
“Bada ajeeb sa banda hai. Mood acha hai to dusre ko satven aasmaan par bitha dega, mood kharaab hai to sidha gutter mein pahoncha dega.”
“Tumhare zyada tar dost isi tarah ke hain.”Imama ne muskurate hue kaha. “Kunad ham jins baham jins parwaz.”
“Nahin khair aisi to koi baat nahin. Kam az kam meri aadatein aur harkatein chu chu jaisi to nahin hain.”
“Wo to bahar jane wala tha na?”
“Haan jana to tha magar pata nahin, mera khayaal hai uske parents nahin bhijwa rahe.”
“Huliya bada ajeeb sa hota hai uska. Mujhe baaz dafa lagta hai hippiyon ke kisi na kisi qabeele se uska talluq zaroor hoga ya aayinda ho jayega.”
“Tum ne dekha hai use?”
“Kal main bahar se aa rahi thi to dekha tha. Wo bhi usi waqt bahar nikal raha tha, koi ladki bhi thi sath.”
“Ladki? Jeans waghira pehni hui thi usne?” Waseem ne dilchaspi lete hue kaha.
“Haan”
“Mushroom cut balon wali, fair si….?”
“Arsa” Waseem chutki bajate hue muskuraya “Uski girlfriend hai.”
“Pichli dafa to tum ksi aur ka naam le rahe the?”Imama ne use ghoora.
“Pichli dafa kab?” Waseem soch mein pad gaya.
“7-8 maah pehle shayad tum se uski girlfriend ki baat hui thi.”
“Haan, tab Sheeba thi. Ab pata nahin wo kahan hai.”
“Is baar to gaadi ke pichle shishe par usne apne mobile ka number bhi paint karwaya hua tha.”Imama ek number dohrate hue hansi.
“Tumhein yaad hai?” Waseem bhi hansa.
“Main ne zindagi mein pehli baar itna bada mobile number kahin likha hua dekha tha wo bhi gadi ke shishe par uske naam ke sath, yaad to hone hi tha.”Imama phir hansi.
“Main to khud soch raha hoon apni gadi ke shishe par mobile number likhwane ka.” Waseem ne balon me hath pherte hue kaha.
“Kaun se mobile ka wo jo tumne abhi tak khareeda nahin?”Imama ne Waseem ka mazaaq udaya.
“Main khareed raha hoon is maah.”
“Baba se joote khane ke liye tayyar rehna. Agar tum ne mobile ke number ko gadi ke shishe par likhwaya to sab se phle call unhin ka aayega.”
“Bas isliye har baar main ruk jata hoon.” Waseem ne ek thandi saans bharte hue kaha.
“Ye tumhare liye acha hi hai. Baba se haddiyan tundwane se behtar hai ke banda apne jazbaat par kuch qabu rakhe aur tumhare liye to khatraat waise bhi zyada hain. Samee’a ko pata chala na agar is qism ke kisi mobile phone ka to……” Waseem ne baat kaat di.
“To kya karegi wo, main usse darta nahin hoon.”
“Main janti hun tum usse darte nahin ho, magar 6 bhaiyon ki ikloti bahen se mangni karne se pehle tumhein tamaam nafa nuqsaan par ghaur kar lena chahiye tha, jin ka samna tumhein kisi aisi waise harkar ke baad ho sakta hai.”Imama ne ek baar phir uski mangetar ka hawala dete hue uska mazaq udaya.
“Ab kya kiya ja sakta hai, bas mere muqaddar mein tha ye sab kuch.” Waseem ne ek masnooyi aah bharte hue kaha.
“Mujhe kabhi bhi mobile phone nahin khareedna chahiye kyun ke ye mere kisi kaam na aa sakega. Kam az kam jahan tak girlfriend ki talash ka sawal hai.” Wo ek baar phir kursi jhulane laga.
“Der se hi sahi, magar ye baat tumhari samajh mein aa gayi hai.”Imama ne hath badha kar mez par se headphone uthate hue kaha.
“Waise tum kya sun rahi thin?” Waseem ko use headphone uthate dekh kar phir yaad aaya.
“Waise hi kuch khaas nahiin tha.”Imama ne uthte hue use jaise taala.
Prev episode: https://theothermeunfolded.com/blog/peer-e-kaamil-roman-urdu-umera-ahmed-episode-25/
Next episode: https://theothermeunfolded.com/blog/peer-e-kaamil-roman-urdu-umera-ahmed-episode-27/
Stay tuned for more book reviews.
Until next time, happy reading!
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Shabana Mukhtar