Disclaimer
This book is transliteration of Umera Ahmed’s masterpiece Peer-e-Kaamil WITHOUT HER PERMISSION.
This is only for those readers who understand Urdu but can’t read it. On Goodreads, some people asked meabout Roman transliteration of Peer-e-Kamil. I couldn’t find it, so I made a mental note to try and make it available to others for free when I get time. Then I forgot about it because I never get time.
And this morning, I got this book. Some kind soul had enough time to transliterate, print, and spiral bind and bring it home.
Anyone interested in reading the roman version can borrow from me.
And those online can read it here.
P.S. This is NOT English translation. If you want that, it’s available on Amazon.
Wo hello ki aawaz par palti. Usse chand qadam ke faasle par Salar khada tha. Wo apne usi be dhange huliye mein tha. T-shirt ke sarey button khule hue the aur wo khud jeans ki jebon mein hath dale khada tha. Ek lamhe ke liye Imama ki samajh mein nahin aaya ke wo kis tarah ke radd-e-amal ka izhaar kare.
Salar ke sath Taimoor bhi tha.
“Aao, us ladki se milwata hoon tumhein.” Salar ne Imama ko kitabon ki dukaan par dekha to qareeb chala aaya.
Taimoor ne gardan mod kar dekha aur hairaani se kaha. “Us chaadar wali se?”
“Haan. “ Salar ne qadam badhaye.
“Ye kaun hai?” Taimoor ne pucha
“Waseem ki bahen hai.”
“Waseem ki? Magar tum usse kyun mil rahe ho? Waseem ki family to khaasi conservative hai. Usse mil kar kya karoge?” Taimoor ne Imama par door se ek nazar daalte hue kaha.
“Pehli baar nahin mil raha hoon. Pehle bhi mil chuka hoon. Baat karne mein kya harj hai?” Salar ne uski baat suni ansuni karte hue kaha.
Imama ne magazine hath mein pakde pakde ek nazar Salar ko aur ek nazar uske sath khade ladke ko dekha jo taqreeban Salar jaise huliye mein hi tha.
“How are you?” Salar ne use apni taraf mutawajjah dekh kar kaha.
“Fine.”Imama ne magazine band karte hue kaha.
“Ye Taimoor hai, Waseem se iski bhi khaasi dosti hai.” Salar ne taaruf karaya.
Imama ne ek nazar Taimoor ko dekha phir hath ke isharey se shopping center ke ek hisse ki taraf ishara karte hue kaha. “Waseem wahan hai.”
Salar ne gardan mod kar us taraf dekha jis taraf usne ishara kiya tha aur phir kaha.
“Magar ham Waseem se milne to nahin aaye”
“To?”Imama ne sanjeedgi se kaha.
“Aap se baat karne aaye hain.”
“Magar main to aap ko nahin janti, phir aap mujh se kya baat karne aaye hain?”
Imama ne sard mohri se kaha. Use Salar ki aankhon se wehshat hone lagi thi. Kaash ye kisi se nazrein jhuka kar baat karna seekh lete, khaas taur par kisi ladki se. Usne magazine dobara khol liya.
“Aap mujhe nahin jaantin?” Salar mazaq udane wale andaaz mein hansa.
“Aap ke ar ke saath hi mera ghar hai.”
“Yaqeenan hai magar main aapko zaati taur par nahin jaanti.” Usne usi rukhayi se magazine par nazrein jamaye hue kaha.
“Chand maah pehle aap ne ke raat meri jaan bachayi thi.” Salar ne mazaaq udane wale andaaz mein use yaad dilaya.
“Medical ki student hone ki haisiyat se mera farz tha. Mere saamne koi bhi mar raha hota to main yahi karti. Ab mujhe excuse karein main kuch masroof hoon.”
Salar uske kehne ke bawajood tas se mas nahin hua. Taimoor ne uske baazu ko haule se kheench kar chalne ka ishara kiya. Shayad use Waseem ke hawale se Imama ka lehaaz tha magar Salar ne apna baazu chuda liya.
“Main us raat aap ki madad ka shukriya ada karna chahta tha Haalanke aap ne mujhe professional tariqey se treatment nahin diya tha.”
Is baar Salar ne sanjeedgi se kaha. Imama ne uski baat par magazine se nazrein hata kar use dekha.
“Aap ka ishara agar us thappad ki taraf hai to haan bilkul wo professional nahin tha aur uske liye main maazrat karti hoon.”
“Main ne use mind nahin kiya. Mera ishaara us taraf nahin tha” Salar ne la parwahi se kaha.
“Mujhe tawaqqo thi ke aap us thappad ko mind nahin karenge.” (Kyun ke usi ke mustahiq the aur ek nahin das) Usne jumle ka aadha hissa zabt kar liya.
“Waise aap ka ishara kis taraf tha?”
“Be had third clas tariqey se bandage ki thi aap ne meri aur aap ko proper tariqey se blood pressure tak check karna nahin aata.” Salar ne la parwahi se kehte hue chewing gum ki ek stick apne munh mein dali. Imama ke kaan ki lawen surkh ho gayin. Wo palkein jhapkaye baghair use dekhti rahi.
“Afsos naak baat hai ke ek doctor ko aise mamuli kaam na aate hon jo kisi bhi aam aadmi ko aate hain.”
Is baar uska andaaz phir mazaaq udane wala tha.
“Main doctor nahin hoon, medical ke ibtedaayi saalon me hoon, pehli baar aur jahan tak unprofessional hone ka talluq hai to agli baar sahi, aap ne to abhi is tarah ki koshishein karni hain. Main aahista aahista aap par practice kar ke apna hath saaf kar lungi.”
Ek lamhe ke liye wo kuch nahin bol saka phir uske chehre par muskurahat ubhri. Yun jaise wo uski baat par mehzooz hua tha magar sharminda nahin aur usne iska izhaar bhi kar diya.
“Agar aap mujhe sharminda karne ki koshish……..”
“Koshish kar rahi hain to aap is mein naakaam hongi Main jaanti hoon, aap sharminda nahin hote, ye sifat sirf insaanon mein hoti hai.”Imama ne uski baat kaat di.
“Aap ke khayal mein, main kya hoon?” Salar ne usi andaaz mein kaha.
“Pata nahin, Ek vet is barey mein aap ko zyada behtar guide kar sakega.” Wo is baar uski baat par hansa tha.
“Do pairon par chalne wale jaanwar ko har medical dictionary insaan kehti hai aur main do pairon par chalta hoon.”
“Reechh se le kar kutte tak har 4 pairon wala jaanwar 2 pairon par chal sakta hai. Agar use zaroorat pade ya uska dil chahe to.”
“Magar mere 4 pair nahin aur main sirf zaroorat ke waqt nahin, har waqt hi 2 pairon par chalta hoon.” Salar ne ajeeb se andaaz mein apne lafzon par zor dete hue kaha.
“Ye aap ki khoosh qismati hai ke aap ke 4 pair nahin hain, isliye main ne aap ko vet se milne ko kaha. Wo aap ko aap ki khususiyaat ke barey mein saheeh bata sakega.”
Imama ne sard aawaz mein kaha. Wo use zich karne mein kaamyaab ho chuka tha.
“Waise jitni achi tarah se aap jaanwaron ke barey mein jaanti hain, aap ek bahot achi vet saabit ho sakti hain. Aap ke ilm se main khaasa muta’assir hua hoon.”Imama ke chehre ki surkhi mein kuch aur izaafaho gaya. “Agar aap meri vet ban jati hain to main aap ke bataye hue mashware ke mutaabiq aap hi ke paas aaya karunga take aap mere barey mein research kar ke mujhe bata sakein.”
Salar ne badi sanjeedgi se kaha. Wo uski baat ke jawaab mein kuch na keh saki, sirf use dekh kar reh gayi. Wo zaroorat se kuch zyada hi munh phat tha aur aise shakhs ke saath lambi guftgu karna aa bail mujhe maar ke mutaraadif tha aur wo ye hamaqat kar chuki thi.
“Waise aap kya fees charge karengi?” Wo badi sanjeedgi se puch raha tha.
“Ye Waseem aap ko bata dega.”Imama ne is baar use dhamkaane ki koshish ki.
“Chalein theek hai, ye main Waseem se puch lunga. Is tarah to khaasi aasani ho jayegi.” Wo uski dhamki ko samajhne ke bawajood mar’oob nahin hua aur usne Imama ko ye jata bhi diya. Taimoor ne ek baar phir uska baazu pakad liya.
“Aao Salar! Chalte hain, mujhe ek zaroori kaam yaad aa gaya hai.” Usne ujlat ke aalam mein Salar ko apne sath taqreeban ghaseetne ki koshish ki magar usne tawajjoh nahin di.
“Chalte hain yaar! Is tarah kheencho to mat.” Wo usse kehte hue ek baar phir Imama ki taraf mutawajjah ho gaya.
“Baher haal ye sab mazaaq tha, main waqai aap ka shukriya ada karne aaya tha. Aap ne aur Waseem ne kafi madad ki meri, goodbye!”
Wo kehte hue wapas mud gaya. Imama ne be-ikhteyaar sukoon ka saans liya. Wo shakhs waqai crack tha. Use hairat ho rahi thi ke Waseem jaisa shakhs kaise is aadmin ke saath dosti rakh sakta hai. Wo ek baar phir magazine ke warq ulatne lagi.
“Salar aaya tha tumhare paas?” Waseem ne uske paas aa kar pucha. Door se Salar aur Taimoor ko dekh liya tha.
“Haan.”Imama ne ek nazar use dekha aur ek baar phir magazine dekhne lagi.
“Kya keh raha tha?” Waseem ne kuch tajassus se pucha.
“Mujhe hairat hoti hai ke tumne is jaise shakhs ke sath dosti kaise kar li hai. Main ne zindagi mein is se zyada behooda aur badtameez ladka nahin dekha.”Imama ne ukhde hue lehje mein kaha. “Mera shukriya ada kar raha tha aur sath mujh se keh raha tha ke mujhe bandage tak theek se karni nahin aati, na main blood pressure check kar sakti hoon.”
Waseem ke chehre par muskurahat aayi, “Usko dafa karo, wo aql se paidal hai.”
“Mera to dil chah raha tha ke use do hath laga doon, uske hosh thikaane aa jayein. Munh utha kar apne dost ko le kar pahonch gaya hai yahan. Bhai, kis ne kaha hai tum se shukriya ada karne ko aur mujhe to wo dusra ladka bhi khaasa bura laga aur wo keh raha tha ke tumhari uske sath bhi dosti hai.”Imama ko achanak yaad aaya.
“Dosti to nahin, bas jaan pehchaan hai.” Waseem ne wazahat pesh ki.
“Tumhein aise ladkon ke sath jaan pehchaan rakhne ki bhi zaroorat nahin hai. Huliya dekha tha tumne un dono ka? Na unhein baat karne ki tameez thi, na libaas pahenne ka saleeqa aur munh utha kar shukriya ada karne aa gaye hain. Baher haal tum usse mukammal taur par qata talluq kar lo. Koi zaroorat nahin is tarah ke ladkon se jaan pehchaan ki bhi tumhein.”
Imama ne magazine rakhte hue ek baar phir use tambeeh ki aur phir bahar jane ke liye qadam badha diye. Waseem bhi uske sath chalne laga.
“Magar main ek baat par hairaan hoon ye jis haalat mein tha use kaise yaad hai ke main ne uski bandage achi nahin ki thi, ya blood pressure lene mein mujhe diqqat ho rahi thi.”Imama ne kuch sochte hue kaha.
“Main ye samajh rahi thi ke ye aise hi hath paon jhatak raha hai. Mujhe ye andaza nahin tha ke ye apne ird gird hone wali chizon ko bhi observe kar raha hai.
“Waise bandage waqai kharaab ki thi tum ne aur agar main tumhari madad na karta to blood pressure ki reading bhi tumhein lena nahin aati. Kam az kam is barey mein wo jo bhi keh raha tha theek keh raha tha.” Waseem ne muskurate hue kaha.
“Haan, mujhe pata hai.”Imama ne aitraaf karne wale andaaz mein kaha. “Magar main us waqt bahot nervous thi. Main pehli baar is tarah ki soorat-e-haal ki shikaar hui thi phir us ke hath se nikalne wala khoon mujhe aur khauf zada kar raha tha upar se uska rawaiyya……..Kisi khud kushi karne wale insaan ko is tarah harkatein karte nahin dekha tha main ne.”
“Aur tum doctor banne ja rahi ho, wo bhi ek qaabil aur naamwar doctor, naa-qaabil-e-yaqeen!” Waseem ne chedte hue kaha.
“Ab kam az kam is tarah ki batein na karo.”Imama ne ehtejaaj kiya. “Main ne isliye tumhein ye sab nahin bataya ke mazaaq udao.” Wo log parking area mein pahonch gaye the.
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https://theothermeunfolded.com/blog/peer-e-kaamil-roman-urdu-umera-ahmed-episode-52/
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Shabana Mukhtar