Hey there, my wonderful readers! It’s your girl, Shabana Mukhtar, and today I’m going to talk about something that’s both exciting and a tad bit scary – turning a year older!
The Morbid Thoughts
Birthdays, ah, they come around every year, and they’re like a rollercoaster ride of emotions. As soon as July starts, I find myself eagerly counting down the days to my special day. It’s a time of celebration, gratitude, and a chance to reflect on the past year’s journey.
But let me be honest with you. As much as I look forward to my birthday, there’s always that little voice in the back of my mind, whispering, “You’re getting older.” It’s like a gentle reminder that time is passing, and with each passing year, I’m getting closer to the ultimate destination – death.
Now, I don’t mean to sound morbid, but it’s a truth we all have to face. Birthdays are like little milestones that mark our journey through life. Each year that passes is a reminder that our time here on Earth is limited, and it’s up to us to make the most of every moment.
The Celebrations
It’s quite disturbing that I still kinda celebrate my birthday. I mean, i don’t celebrate but we are conditioned to remember our birthdays for the better part of our life and then we grow up. Aaj iska birthday hai, my teacher’s birthday is next month, and so on. I have a weird memory and I remember things that I shouldn’t. Dates, number, years, I have a knack for remembering such silly details very well, and I have never forgotten to wish people on their birthdays… Until I learned better. Now, I put an effort to not remember things, dates, build number, etc.
My taw journey started pretty late, and I used to follow this silly tradition of celebrating birthdays until I entered into my late-twenties. July was (still is) special in our family with my dad’s real birthday and my elder sister’s fake on on July 1, followed by my younger sister’s birthday on July 18, and mine on July 29th. Since I have a habit of linking things together, I still remember Eid ul Fitr 2014 when I reached a siginificant milestone of my life. Eid, and birthday, that’s something, right?
Finally, I learned that birthday celebrations are discouraged in Islam. And, then we finally get the opportunity to practice Taqwa the way it’s meant to be practiced. No more birthday celebrations for me.
Long story short, I don’t celebrate it, but I can’t help but remember it.
I also can’t help but think about all the dreams and goals I had when I was younger. Some have been fulfilled, and some are still a work in progress. It’s a moment of reflection and a chance to set new intentions for the year ahead.
But amidst the excitement and contemplation, there’s also a sense of apprehension. Will I achieve all that I want to? Will I make the most of the time I have left? These questions linger, and they’re a reminder to cherish every day and make it count.
The Flashback
I couldn’t help but recall my previous birthday. I was in Makkah, it was our last day, and our rendezvous was to move to Madinah on 30th morning. We had intended to do one last Umrah on July 29, 2022 as it was our last day; not because it was my birthday. It was also the night the kaaba’s cover was scheduled to be changed. I have a detailed post about that here: Daily Prompt | If I won two free plane tickets, I would go to…
We watched the cover changing for almost two hours, finished our Umrah, and then went back to do more tawafs. We did not leave Al Masjid Al Haram until it was absolutely time to go back to our room and pack for Madinah.
Overall, it was a day that I would cherish for the rest of my life. Needless to say, that I craved being in that holy city again. May Allah bless me with the ziyarat again and again and again. Ameen!
The Day As It Happened
This day had it’s own importance, other than being my birthday. I was travelling back to Nagpur, and it was also Yaum Al Aashura. Although I didn’t fast as is the recommendation, but I tried to “expand” as per hadith. In short, we packed chicken tikka biryani for dinner; three kinds of juices, and several packets of salty snacks.
The bags were packed the night before, because I don’t sleep at night in general. Sleeping a day before travell, no matter how often I travel, is a big NO NO. It’s not something I enforce. My anxiety works that way–no sleep on the night before the travel and no eating on the day of travel until we arrive at the railway station, board the train and take our seats. If I go into the details of that, this post will become a short memoir, so let’s stop at that.
Another ritual of the day of travel is a long list of to-do items, basically ensuring that rats don’t invade my apartment this time. Nothing works, because every time I come back to Pune, chuhon ne tabahi machayi hoti hai (rats wreak havov). The ritual is followed, nonetheless.
- clean the kitchen
- shut the doors and windows
- make sure that everything is stuffed into cabinets so rats don’t ruin my “stuff”
- check the seat chart because these days I don’t reserve the tickets in advance and am kept in the wailing list till the last moment
So, as I set about cleaning the kitchen shortly after noon, I suddenly recalled to do #4 first. The charts are prepared 4 hours before the train departure (5:35 PM in our case), and I knew there was still time, but that’s how anxious people operate. I checked the status, and put the phone down. After doing the dishes, I checked the status again; chart still not prepared.
While doing all this, I had been controlling the urge to pee. Just before going to the washroom, I checked the status. Yeah, it was prepared.
GD 01, GD 03
What the hell is GD coach?
I’ve been travelling with Garibrath for more than a decade now but I’ve never seen this coach, that says a lot about my observational skills, I guess? So, holding the bladder pressure, I checked what it is. There are two GD coached in each train, for physically challenged people, and this quota is released to waitlisted tickets during chart preparation.
I don’t know how I feel about travelling in a coach that was reserved for physically handicapped people (don’t judge me, that’s the name of that quota). Anywho, I set about clearing my checklist.
The coach was the second-last one, and was outside the station. As I pulled my bag and kept walking, it felt like I’m walking to Nagpur on foot. The coach is a 4-person coach with it’s own toilet (western, tch), so spacious. It felt like a small room. At least we wouldn’t have to run around and find place for offering namaz.
My brother and I wished that we were the only two passengers so we would have the whole coach to ourself. That’s didn’t happen, but it was still relatively quiet journey. I still couldn’t sleep, that’s a different story. But this journey was the quitest in my whole career.
I wonder if there is a way to book this coach for regular people 😛 Just kidding…
Ending the Rant
So, my dear readers, as I turn a year older, I embrace the wisdom that comes with age. I celebrate the experiences that have shaped me and the lessons that have molded me into the person I am today. I embrace the journey, knowing that every step, every stumble, and every triumph has a purpose.
And while birthdays may bring a tinge of fear about the passage of time, they also remind me of the beauty of life. Each year is a gift, an opportunity to grow, learn, and create memories that will stay with us forever.
So, let’s raise a toast to birthdays and the incredible journey of life. Let’s embrace the joy, the challenges, and the moments that take our breath away. And let’s remember that every day is a chance to live our lives to the fullest and make our mark on the world.
Thank you for joining me on this introspective birthday reflection. Until next time, keep celebrating life, cherishing every moment, and living each day with purpose and passion. Here’s to turning a year older and wiser! Cheers!
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Until we meet again, check out my books on Amazon. You can subscribe for Kindle Unlimited for free for the first month, just saying 🙂
Shabana Mukhtar