Disclaimer
This book is transliteration of Umera Ahmed’s masterpiece Peer-e-Kaamil WITHOUT HER PERMISSION.
This is only for those readers who understand Urdu but can’t read it. On Goodreads, some people asked meabout Roman transliteration of Peer-e-Kamil. I couldn’t find it, so I made a mental note to try and make it available to others for free when I get time. Then I forgot about it because I never get time.
And this morning, I got this book. Some kind soul had enough time to transliterate, print, and spiral bind and bring it home.
Anyone interested in reading the roman version can borrow from me.
And those online can read it here.
P.S. This is NOT English translation. If you want that, it’s available on Amazon.
“Tumhara naam kya hai?”
“Pata nahin”
“Maan baap ne kya Rakha tha?”
“Maan baap se puchein”
“Log kis naam se pukarte hain tumhein?”
“Ladke ya ladkiyan?”
“Ladke”
“Bahot sare naam lete hain”
“Zyada kaun sa naam pukarte hain?”
“Daredevil”
“Aur ladkiyan?”
“Wo bhi bahot naam se pukarti hain.”
“Zyada tar kis naam se pukarti hain?”
“Ye main nahi bata sakta. Its too personal.”
Gehri khamushi. Taweel saans phir khamushi.
“Main aap ko ek mashwara doon?”
“Kya?”
“Aap mere bare mein wo janne ki koshish kyun nahin karte jo na aap pehle jante hain na main. Aap ke dayen taraf table par jo safed file padi hai usmein mere sare particulars maujood hain. Phir aap waqt kyun zaya kar rahe hain?”
Psycho analyst ne apne paas maujood table lamp ki raushni me samne couch par daraaz us naujawaan ko dekha jo musalsal apne pair hila raha tha. Uske chehre par gehra itmenaan tha aur yun lag raha tha jaise wo Psycho analyst ke sath hone wali is guftgu ko bekaar samajh raha hai. Kamre main maujood thandak, khamushi aur neem tareeki ne uske aasaab ko bilkul mutassir nahin kiya tha. Wo baat karte hue waqtan fauqtan kamre mein charon taraf nazrein dauda raha tha. Psycho analyst ke liye samne leta hua naujawaan ek ajeeb case tha. Wo photographic memory ka malik tha. Uska IQ level 150 ki range mein tha. Wo throughout, outstanding academic record rakhta tha. Wo golf me presidents gold medal 3 baar jeet chuka tha aur……. Wo teesri baar khud kushi ki nakaam koshish karne ke baad uske paas aaya tha. Us ke walidain hi use uske paas le kar aaye the aur wo be had pareshan the.
Wo mulk ke chand bahot ache khandaanon me se ek se talluq Rakhta tha. Aisa khadaan jis ke paas paise ki bharmaar thi. 2 bhaiyon aur ek bahen ke baad wo chauthe number par tha. Apni zahanat aur qabliyat ki wajah se wo apne walidain ka bahot zyada chaheeta tha. Uske bawajood pichle 3 salon me usne 3 baar khud kushi ki koshish ki.
Pehli dafa usne sadak par bike chalte hue one way ki khilaaf warzi ki aur bike se hath utha liye. Uske piche wale traffic constable ne use aisa karte hue dekha tha. Khush qismati se gadi se takrane ke baad wo hawa mein uchal kar ek dusri gadi ki chat par gira phir zameen par gira. Uski kuch pasliyan, ek bazu aur ek taand fracture hue tab uske walidain constable ke israar ke bawajood use ek hadsa hi samjhte rahe, kyun ke usne apne maan baap se yahi kaha tha ke wo ghalti se one way se hat gaya tha.
Doosri baar pure ek saal baad usne Lahore mein khud ko bandh kar pani mein doobne ki koshish ki. Ek baar phir use bacha liya gaya. Pul par khade logon ne use rassi samet bahar kheench liya tha jis ke sath bandh kar usne khud ko niche giraya tha. Is baar is baat ki gawahi dene walon ki tadaad zyada thi ke usne khud apne aap ko pani mein giraya tha magar uske maan baap ko ek baar phir yaqeen nahi aaya. Salar ka bayan tha ke kuch ladkon ne uski gadi ko pul ke paas roka aur phir use bandh kar pani mein phenk diya. Jis tarah wo bandha hua tha, usse yun hi lagta tha ke use waqai hi bandh kar giraya gaya tha. Police agle kayi hafte uske bataye gaye huliye ke ladkon ko pure shaher mein talaash karti rahi. Sikandar Usman ne khaas taur par ek guard uske tainaat kar diya jo 24 ghanta uske saath rehta tha.
Magar teesri baar wo apne maan baap ki aankhon mein dhul nahin jhonk saka. Khwaab aawar goliyon ki ek badi tadaad pees kar usne kha liya tha. Goliyon ki tadaad itni zyada thi ke me’da saaf karne ke bawajood wo kai dino tak beemar raha. Is baar kisi ko bhi ghalat fehmi na hui. Usne khansamaan ke samne un goliyon ke powder ko doodh mein daal kar piya tha.
Sikandar Usman aur Tayyaba Sikandar shocked the. Pichle dono waqe’aat bhi unhein puri tarah yaad aa gaye the aur wo pachtane lage ke unhon ne us ki baar par aitbaar kyun kiya….. Pura ghar us ki wajah se pareshan ho gaya tha. Uske bare mein school, colony aur khandaan har jagah khabrein phail rahi thin. Wo is baar is baat se inkaar nahin kar saka ke us ne khud kushi ki koshish ki thi. Magar wo ye batane par Tayyar nahin tha ke usne aisa kyun kiya tha. Bhai, bahen, maan ya baap us ne kisi ke sawal ka koi bhi jawab nahin diya tha.
Sikandar A levels ke baad uske bade bhaiyon ki tarah use bairon mulk taleem hasil karne ke liye bhijwana chahte the. Wo jante the ke use kahin bhi na sirf aasani se admission mil jayega balke scholarship bhi…… Laikin unke sare plans jaise bhak kar ke ud gaye the.
Aur wo ab is Psycho analyst ke samne maujood tha jis ke paas Sikandar Usman ne use apne dost ke mashware par bhijwaya tha.
“Theek hai Salar! Bilkul to the point baat karte hain. Marna kyun chahte ho tum?” Salar ne kandhe uchkaye.
“Aap se kis ne kaha main marna chahta hoon?”
“Khud kushi ki 3 koshishein kar chuke ho tum.”
“Koshish karna aur marne mein bada farq hota hai.”
“Tino dafa tum ittefaqan bache ho warna khud ko marne mein tum ne koi kasar nahin chodi thi.”
“Dekhen, jis ko aap khud kushi ki koshish keh rahe hain, main use khud kushi ki koshish nahin samajhta. Main sirf dekhna chahta tha ke maut ki takleef kaisi hoti hai.”
Wo uska chehra dekhne laga jo bade pur sukoon andaaz mein unhein samjhane ki koshish kar raha tha.
“Aur maut ki takleef tum kyun mehsoos karna chahte the?”
“Bas aise hi curiosity samajh len.”
Psycho analyst ne ek gehra saans le kar is 150 IQ level wale naujawaan ko dekha jo ab chat ko ghoor raha tha.
“To ek baar khud kushi ki koshish se tumhare ye tajassus khatm nahin hua?”
“Oh tab, tab main behosh ho gaya tha isliye main theek se kuch mehsoos hi nahin kar saka. Doosri baar bhi aisa hi hua. Teesri baar bhi aisa hi hua.” Wo mayusi se sar hilate hue bola.
“Aur ab tum chauthi baar koshish karoge?”
“Yaqeenan main mehsoos karna chahta hoon ke dard ki inteha par ja kar kaisa lagta hai.”
“Kya matlab?”
“Jaise joy ki inteha ecstasy hoti hai magar samajh mein nahin aata ke khushi ki is inteha ke baad kya hai. Isi tarah dard ki bhi to koi inteha hoti hogi, jis ke baad aap kuch bhi samajh nahin sakte jaise ecstasy mein aapn kuch nahin samajh sakte.”
“Main nahin samajh saka.”
“Farz karein aap ek baar striptease dekh rahe hain, bahot tez music baj raha hai. Aap drink kar rahe hain. Aap ne kuch drugs bhi li hui hain. Aap naach rahe hain phir aap aahista aahista apne hosh o hawaas kho dete hain. Aap ecstasy mein hain. Kahan hain? Kyun hain? Kya kar rahe hain? Aap ko kuch pata nahin laikin aap ko ye zaroor pata hota hain ke aap jo kuch kar rahe hain wo aap ko acha lag raha hain. Main jab bahar chuttiyan guzaarne jata hoon to apne cousins ke sath aise bazar mein jata hoon. Mera problem ye hai ke un ki tarah main ecstatic nahin hota. I neven get wild with joy. Mujhe in cheezon se utni khushi nahin mil pati jitni baqi logon ko milti hai aur yahi cheez mujhe mayoos karti hai. Main ne socha ke agar suroor ki inteha ko nahin pahonch sakta to shayad main dard ki inteha ko pahonch sakoon laikin wo bhi nahin ho saka.” Wo khasa mayoos nazar aa raha tha.
“Tum is tarah ki chizon me waqt kyun barbaad karte ho, itna shaandaar academic record hai tumhara…..”
Salar ne is bar intehai bezaari se kaha. “Please. Please ab meri zahanat ke raag alaapna mat shuru kijiye ga. Mujhe pata hai main kya hoon. Main tang aa gaya hoon apni tareefein sunte sunte.”
Uske lehje mein talkhi thi. Psycho analyst kuch der use dekhta raha.
“Apne liye koi goal kyun nahin set karte tum?”
“Main ne kiya hai”
“Kya?”
“Mujhe khud kushi ke ek baar aur koshish karni hai.” Mukammak itmenaan tha.
“Kya tumhein koi depression hai?”
“Not at all.”
“To phir marna kyun chahte ho?” Ek gehra saans
“Kya aap ko ek baar phir se batana shuru karun ke main marna nahin chahta, main kuch aur karne ki koshish kar raha hoon.” Wo ukta gaya.
Baat ghoom phir kar wahin aa gayi. Psycho analyst kuch der sochta raha.
“Kya tum ye sab kisi ladki ki wajah se kar rahe ho?”
Salar ne gardan mod kar hairani se use dekha. “Kisi ladki ki wajah se?”
“Haan, koi aisi ladki jo tumhein achi lagti ho jis se tum shadi karna chahte ho?” Usne be ikhtiyar qehqaha lagaya aur phir hansta hi gaya.
“My god! Aap ka matlab hai ke kisi ladki ki mohabbat ki wajah se main khud kushi…….” Wo ek baar phir adhoori baat chod kar hansne laga. “ Ladki ki mohabbat…… Aur khud kushi……… Kya mazaaq hai.” Wo ab apni hansi par qabu pane ki koshish kar raha tha.
Psycho analyst ne is tarah ke kayi sessions us ke sath kiye laikin nateeja wahi dhak ke teen paat raha.
“Aap usko taleem ke liye bairoon mulk bhejne ke bajaye yahin rakhen aur us par bahot zyada tawajjoh den. Ho sakta hai ye tawajjoh hasil karne ke liye ye sab karta ho.”
Us ne kai maah baad Salar ke maan baap ko ye mashwara diya jia ka nateeja ye hua ke use bahar bhijwane ki bajaye Islamabad ke idare me admission dilwaya gaya. Sikandar Usman ko ye itmenan tha ke wo use apne paas rakhenge to shayad wo dobara aisi harkar na kare. Salar ne unke is faisle par kisi radd-e-amal ka izhar nahin kiya bilkul usi tarah jis tarah usne unke is faisle par kisi khushi ka izhaar nahin kiya tha ke use bairoon mulk taleem ke liye bhijwaya jayega.
Psycho analyst ke sath aakhri session ke baad Sikandar Usman use ghar le aaye aur unhon ne Tayyaba ke sath mil kar usse ek lambi chaudi meeting ki. Wo dono apne bedroom me bitha kar use un tamaam aasaishon ke baare mein batate rahe jo wo pichle kai salon se use faraham karte aa rahe the. Unhon ne use in tawaqqo’aat ke bare mein bataya jo wo usse rakhte the. Wo be-tassur chehre ke sath chewing gum chabata baap ki be chaini aur maan ke aansu dekhta raha. Guftgu ke aakhir me Sikandar Usman ne taqreeban tang aa kar usse kaha.
“Tumhein kis chiz ki kami hai? Kya hai jo tumhare paas nahin hai ye jo tumhein chahiye? Mujhe batao.” Salar soch mein pad gaya.
“Sports car.” Agle hi lamhe usne kaha.
“Theek hai. Main tumhein sports car bahar se mangwa deta hoon magar dobara aisi koi harkat mat karna jo tumne ki hai, Okay?” Sikandar Usman ko kuch itmenaan hua.
Salar ne sar hila diya. Tayyaba ne tissue se aansu saaf karte hue jaise sukoon ka saans liya. Wo kamre se bahar chala gaya to Sikandar Usman cigar sulgate hue unse kaha.
“Tayyaba! Tumhein us par bahot tawajjoh deni padegi. Apni activities kuch kam karo aur koshish karo ke uske sath rozana kuch waqt guzaar sako.” Tayyaba ne sar hila diya.
Prev episode: https://theothermeunfolded.com/blog/peer-e-kaamil-roman-urdu-umera-ahmed-episode-24/
Next episode: https://theothermeunfolded.com/blog/peer-e-kaamil-roman-urdu-umera-ahmed-episode-26/
Stay tuned for more book reviews.
Until next time, happy reading!
~~~
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Shabana Mukhtar