Disclaimer
This book is transliteration of Umera Ahmed’s masterpiece Peer-e-Kaamil WITHOUT HER PERMISSION.
This is only for those readers who understand Urdu but can’t read it. On Goodreads, some people asked meabout Roman transliteration of Peer-e-Kamil. I couldn’t find it, so I made a mental note to try and make it available to others for free when I get time. Then I forgot about it because I never get time.
And this morning, I got this book. Some kind soul had enough time to transliterate, print, and spiral bind and bring it home.
Anyone interested in reading the roman version can borrow from me.
And those online can read it here.
P.S. This is NOT English translation. If you want that, it’s available on Amazon.
Us ne 2 din hospital mein guzaarey the. Wahan se gaadi mein guzarne waale kisi jodey ne use girtey dekha tha aur wahin se utha kar hospital le aaye the. Doctors ke mutaabiq wo food poison ka shikaar hua tha. Wo hospital aane ke chand ghanton ke baad hosh mein aa gaya tha aur wahan se chale jaane ki khwaahish rakhne ke bawajood wo jismaani taur par apne aap ko itni buri haalat mein mehsoos kar raha tha ke wahan se jaa nahin saka.
Agle din shaam tak uski haalat kuch behtar hone lagi magar doctors ki hidayaat par Salar ne wo raat bhi wahin guzaar di. Itwaar ko seh paher wo ghar aa gaya tha aur ghar aate hi toor operator ke saath tay paaya jaane wala program chand dinon ke liye multawi kar diya. Use peer ki subah nikalna tha aur usne tay kiya tha ke jaane se pehle wo ek baar phir Sandra ko call karega laikin ab program cancel karne ke saath saath usne usko ya kisi bhi dost ko call karne ka iraada tark kar diya.
Ek halke sandwich ke saath coffee ka ek cup peene ke baad usne sukoon aawar dawa li aur sone ke liye chala gaya.
Agle din jab uski aankh khuli, us waqt 11 baj rahe the. Salar ko neend se bedaar hote hi sar mein shadeed dard ka ehsaas hua. Apna haath badha kar usne apna maatha aur jism chua, uska maatha bahot zyada garm tha.
“Come On!” Wo bezaari se badbadaya. Pichle do din ki bimari ke baad wo agley do din bistar par pade hue nahin guzaarna chahta tha aur is waqt use waise hi aasaar nazar aa rahe the.
Jun tun bed se nikal kar wo munh haath dhoye baghair ek baar phir kitchen mein aa gaya. Coffee banne ke liye rakh kar wo answer phone par record calls sunne laga. Chand calls Saad ki thin jis ne wapas Pakistan jaane se pehle usse milne ke liye baar baar use ring kiya tha aur phir aakhri call mein uske is tarah ghayab ho jaane par use achi khaasi salwaatein sunaayi thin.
Sandra ka andaaza tha ke wo usse mile baghair skiing ke liye chala gaya tha. Yahin khayaal Sikandar aur Kamran ka tha. Unhon ne bhi use chand calls ki thin. Chand calls uske kuch class fellows ki thi. Wo bhi chuttiyaan guzaarne ke liye apne gharon ko jaane se pehle ki gayi thin. Har ek ne use taakid ki thi ke wo unhein jawaabi call kare magar ab wo jaanta tha ke ab wo sab wapas jaa chuke honge. Wo sikandar aur Kamran aur Saad ko Pakistan mein call kar sakta tha magar is waqt wo ye karne ke mood mein nahin tha.
Coffe ke ek mug ke saath do slice khane ke baad usne ghar par mujood chand medicines lin aur phir dobara bed par let gaya. Uska khayaal tha ke bukhaar ke liye itna hi kaafi tha aur shaam tak wo agar mukammal taur par nahin to kaafi had tak theek ho chuka hoga.
Uska andaaza bilkul ghalat saabit hua. Shaam ke waqt medicine ke zair-e-asar aane wali neend se bedaar hua to uska jism buri tarah bukhaar mein phunak raha tha. Uski zabaan aur hont khushk the aur use apna halaq kaanton se bhara hua mehsoos ho raha tha. Poore jism ke sath sath uska sar bhi shadeed dard ki giraft mein tha. Aur shayad uske is tarah bedaar hone ki wajah ye shadeed bukhaar aur takleef hi thi.
Is baar aundhey munh bed par letey hue usne apne dono hath takiya par maathey ke niche rakhte hue haathon ke anguthon se kanpatiyon ko masaltey hue sar mein uthne wali dard ki teeson ko kam karne ki koshish ki magar wo buri tarah nakaam raha. Chehra takiye mein chupaaye wo bey his-o-harkat pada raha.
Takleef bardaasht karne ki koshish mein wo kab dobara neend ki aaghosh mein gaya, use andaza nahin hua. Phir jab uski aankh khuli to us waqt kamrey mein mukammal taur par andhera tha. Raat ho chuki thi aur sirf kamra hi nahin pura ghar taareek tha, wo pehle se zyada takleef mein tha. Chand minton tak bed se uthne ki nakaam koshish karne ke baad wo dobara let gaya. Ek baar phir usne apne zahen ko tareeki mein doobta mehsoos kiya. Magar is baar ye neend nahin thi, wo ghanoodgi ki kisi darmiyaani kaifiyat se guzar raha tha. Wo ab khud ko karaahtey hue sun raha tha magar wo apni aawaz ka gala nahin ghont paa raha tha. Central heating hone ke bawajood use bey tahaasha sardi mehsoos ho rahi thi. Uska jism buri tarah kaanp raha tha aur kambal uski kapkapaahat ko khatm karne mein nakaam tha. Wo jismaani taur par khud ko utha kar kuch bhi pahenne ya odhne ke qaabil nahin tha. Use apne seeney aur pet mein ek baar phir dard mehsoos hone laga.
Uski karaahon mein ab shiddat aati ja rahi thi. Ek baar phir matli mehsoos karne par usne uthne aur tezi se washroom tak jaane ko koshishki magar wo apni koshish mein kamyaab nahin hua tha. Chand lamhon ke liye wo bed par uth kar baithne mein kamyaab hua aur isse pehle ke wo bed se utarne ki koshish karta, use zor ki ubkaayi aayi. Pichle 24 ghanton mein andar reh jaane wali thodi bahot khooraak bhi bahar aa gayi thi. Wo ghashi ke aalam mein bhi apne kapdon aur kambal se bey neyaaz tha magar wo mukammal taur par gandagi se luthdey hue bebas tha. Use apna pura wajood maflooj mehsoos ho raha tha. Wo ird gird ke maahol se mukammal aur par be neyaaz ho chuka tha. Ghashi ki kaifiyat mein karaahon ke sath uske munh mein jo kuch aa raha tha wo bolta ja raha tha.
Ghashi ka ye silsila kitne ghante jaari raha tha use yaad nahin. Haan albatta use is kaifiyat ke dauraan ek baar yun zaroor mehsoos hua tha jaise wo mar raha hai aur usi waqt zindagi mein pehli baar maur se ajeeb sa khauf mehsoos hua tha. Wo kisi na kisi tarah phone tak pahonchna chahta tha, kisi ko bulana chahta tha magar wo bistar se niche nahin utar saka. Shadeed bukhaar ne use mukammal taur par maflooj kar ke rakh diya tha.
Aur phir bil aakhir wo khud hi us kaifiyat se bahar aa gaya tha. Us waqt raat ka pichla paher tha jab wo us ghanoodgi se bahar nikla tha. Aankhein kholne par usne kamrey mein wahi tareeki dekhi thi magar uska jism ab pehle ki tarah garm nahin tha. Kapkapi mukammal taur par khatm ho chuki thi. Uske sar aur jism mein hone wala dard bhi bahot halka tha.
Kamrey ki chhat ko kuch der ghoorney ke baad usne lete lete andherey mein side lamp ko dhund kar on kar diya. Raushni ne kuch der ke liye uski aankhon ko chundhiya kar band ho jaane par majboor kar diya. Usne apne haath badha kar aankhon ke band papoton ko chua. Wo sooje hue the. Aankhon mein chubhan ho rahi thi. Sooje hue papoton ko bamushkil khule rakhte hue wo ab ird gird ki cheezon par ghaur karta raha aur apne saath hone wale tamaam waqe’aat ko yaad karne ki koshish karta raha tha. Halke halke jhamaakon ke sath use sab kuch yaad aata jaa raha tha.
Use be ikhteyaar apne aap se ghin aayi. Bed par baithe baithe us ne apni shirt ke button khol kar use utaar kar phenk diya. Phir ladkhadatey hue bed se utar gaya aur kambal aur bedsheet bhi kheench kar usne bed se utaar ka farsh par daal diye.
Unhi ladkhadatey qadmon ke sath wo soche samjhe baghair bathroom me ghus gaya
Bathroom mein maujood bade aayine ke saamne apne chehrey par nazar padte hi use jaise shock laga tha. Uski aankhein andar dhansi hui thin aur unke gird padne wale halqey bahot numaayan the aur chehra bilkul zard tha. Uske honton par papdiyaan jami hui thin. Use is waqt dekhne wala yahi sochta ke wo kisi lambi bimari se utha hai.
“24 ghanton me itni shave badh gayi hai?” usne hairaani ke aalam mein apne gaalon ko chhute hue kaha. “Itni buri shakl to meri food poisoning ke baad hospital mein reh kar bhi nahin hui thi jitni ek din ke is bukhaar ne kar di hai.”
Wo be yaqeeni ke aalam mein apne halqon ko dekhte hue badbadaya. Tub mein paani bhar kar wo usmein let gaya. Use hairaani ho rahi thi ke bukhaar ki haalat mein bhi usne fauri taur par usi waqt apne kapde kyun nahin badal liye, wo kyun wahi pada raha.
Bathroom se nikalne ke baad bedroom mein rehne ki bajaye wo kitchen mein chala gaya. Use be tahaasha bhook lag rahi thi. Usne noodles banaye aur unhein khane laga. “Mujhe subah doctor ke paas jaa kar apna tafseeli check up karwana chahiye. Usne noodles khate hue socha. Thakan ek baar phir uske aasaab par sawaar ho rahi thi. Nahane ke baad use agarcha apna wajood bahot halka phulka mehsoos ho raha tha magar uski niqaahat khatm nahin hui thi.
Noodles khane ke dauraan usne TV on kar diya aur channel search karne laga. Ek channel par aane wala talk show dekhte hue usne remote rakh diya aur phir noodles ke pyaale par jhuk gaya. Usne abhi noodles ka doosra chamcha munh mein rakha hi tha ke wo be ikhteyaar ruk gaya. Uljhi hui nazron se talk show ko dekhte hue usne remote ko ek baar phir utha liya. Hath aage badhate hue wo ek baar phir channel search karne laga magar is baar wo har channel ko pehle se zyada thaher thaher ka dekh raha tha aur uske chehre ki uljhan badhti jaa rahi thi.
“Ye kya hai?” wo badbadaya.
Use achi tarah yaad tha wo Juma ki raat ko sadak par be hosh hone ke baad hospital gaya tha. Hafte ka saara din usne wahin guzara tha aur Itwaar ki seh paher ko wo wapas aaya tha. Itwaar ki seh paher ko sone ke baad wo agle din 11 baje ke qareeb utha tha. Phir usi raat ko use bukhaar ho gaya tha. Shayad usne Mangal ka saara din bukhaar ki haalat mein guzara tha ab yaqeenan Mangal ki raat thi magar TV channels use kuch aur bata rahe the. Wo Hafte ki raat thi aur agla tuloo hone wala din Itwaar ka tha.
Usne apni wrist watch par ek nazar daudayi jo living room ki mez par padi thi. Uska munh khule ka khula reh gaya. Us ne noodles ka pyaala mez par rakh diya, yak lakht jaise uski bhook ud gayi ho. Waha mujood tareek ne use jaise ek aur jhatka diya tha.
“Kya matlab hai, kya main 5 din bukhaar mein mubtala raha hoon. 5 din hosh-o-hawaas se be khabar raha hoon? Magar ye kaise ho sakta hai? Ye kaise mumkin hai?” Wo badbada raha tha.
“5 din, 5 din to bahot hote hain. Ye kaise mumkin hai ke mujhe……….. mujhe 5 din guzarne ka pata hi na chale……….. main 5 din tak is tarah be hosh kaise reh sakta hoon.”
Wo ladkhadatey qadmon ke saath tezi se answer phone ki taraf badh gaya, phone par uske liye koi recorded paighaam nahin tha.
“Papa ne mujhe koi call nahin ki aur………..aur………….Saad ko kya ho gaya hai………… Kya main kisi ko yaad nahin raha?”
Use jaise koi paighaam na paa kar shock laga tha. Wo bahot de tak bilkul saakit phone ke paas baitha raha.
“Ye kaise ho sakta hai ke papa ko mera khayaal hi na raha ho, ya kis aur friend ko…………. ya phir kisi aur ko………. Is tarah mujhe kaise chod diya unhon ne. aur us waqt use pehli baar ehsaas hua ke uske haath ek baar phir kapkapa rahe the. Wo niqaahat ya kamzori nahin thi, phir wo kya tha jo use kaanpney par majboor kar raha tha. Wo uth kar wapas sofe ki taraf chala aaya.
Noodles ke pyaale ko hath mein le kar wo ek baar phir unhein khane laga par is baar noodles mein chand minute pehle ka zaaiqa bhi khatm ho chuka tha. Use laga wo be zaaiqa rubber ke chand narm tukdon ko chaba raha hai. Chand chamche lene ke baad usne pyaala dobara table par rakh diya. Wo use kha nahin paa raha tha. Wo ab bhi ajeeb si be yaqeeni ki giraft mein tha. Kya waqai wo 5 din yahan akela is tarah pada raha tha ke use khud apne barey mein pata tha aur naa hi kisi aur ko.
Wo ek baar phir washroom mein chala gaya. Uska chehra kuch der pehle jaisa nahin lag raha tha. Nahane se wo kuch behtar ho gaya tha magar uski shave aur aankhon ke gird pade hue halqey ab bhi usi tarah maujood the. Aayine ke saamne khade ho kar wo kuch der tak apni aankhon ke gird pade hue halqon ko chhoota raha jaise use yaqeen na aa raha ho ke wo waqai wahan maujood the ya phir uska wahem hai. Use ek dam apne chehrey par mujood baalon se wehshat hone lagi.
Wahin khade khade usne shaving kit nikali aur shave karne laga. Shave karte hue use ek baar phir ehsaas hua ke use hath kaanp rahe the. Yake-baad-deegrey use 3 cut lage. Usne shave ke baad apna chehra dhoya aur uske baad tauliye se aayine mein apne aap ko dekhte hue use khushk karne laga. Jab use un zakhmon se ristey hue khoon ka ehsaas hua to usne chehrey ko tauliye se thapthapaana band kar diya. Khaali-uz-zehni ke aalam mein apne chehrey ko dekhne laga.
Uske gaalon par aahista aahista ek baar phir khoon ke qatrey namoodaar ho rahe the. Gehra surkh rang, wo palkein jhapkaaye baghair un qatron ko dekhta raha. 3 nanhe nanhe surkh qatrey.
“What is next to ecstasy?”
“Pain.”
Sard aur maddham aawaz aayi. Wo patthar ke but ki tarah saakit ho gaya.
“What is next to pain?”
“Nothingness.”
Use ek ek lafz yaad tha.
“Nothingness.” Wo aayine mein apne aap ko dekhte hue badbadaya. Uske gaalon ki harkat se khoon ke qatrey uske gaalon par phisalne lage.
“And what comes next to nothingness.?”
“Hell”
Salar ko ek dam ubkaai aayi. Wo wash basin par be ikhteyaar dohra ho gaya. Chand minute pehle khayi gayi khooraak ek baar phir bahar aa gayi. Usne nal khol diya. Usne uske baadkya pucha tha, usne jawaab mein kya kaha tha use yaad tha.
“Abhi tumhein koi cheez samajh mein nahin aa rahi. Aayegi bhi nahin. Ek waqt aayega jab tum sab kuch samajh jaoge. Har shakhs par ek waqt aata hai jab wo sab kuch samajhne lagta hai. Jab koi muamma, muamma nahin rehta. Main us daur se guzar rahi hoon. Tum par wo daur aayinda kabhi aayega. Uske baad tum dekha. Kya tumhein hansi aati hai.”
Salar ko ek aur ubkaai aayi, use apni aankhon se paani behta hua mehsoos hua.
“Zindagi mein ham kabhi na kabhi us muqaam par aa jate hain jahan saare rishtey khatm ho jate hain. Wahan sirf ham hote hain aur Allah hota hai. Koi maan baap, koi bhai bahen, koi dost nahin hota. Phir hamein pata chalta hai ke hamarey pairon ke niche na zameen hai na sar ke upar koi aasmaan, bas sirf ek Allah hai jo hamein us khalaa mein bhi thaamey hue hai. Phir pata chalta hai ham zameen par padi mitti ke dher mein ek zarrey ya darakht par lage hue ek patte se zyada ki wuq’at nahin rakhte. Phir pata chalta hai ke hamare hone na hone se sirf hamein farq padta hai. Sirf hamara kirdaar khatm hojata hai. Kaainaat mein koi tabdeeli nahin aati, kisi cheez par koi asar nahin padta.”
Salar ko apne seeney mein ajeeb sa dard mehsoos ho raha tha. Usne behtey hue paani ko munh mein dala use ek baar phir ubkaai aayi.
“Uske baad hamari aql thikaaney aa jaati hain.”
Wo is aawaz ko apne zahen se jhatakney ki koshish kar raha tha. Use hairani ho rahi thi wo use us waqt kyun yaad aayi thi.
Usne pani ke cheentey apne chehrey par maarne shuru kar diye. Chehrey ko ek baar phir ponchney laga. After shave ki bottle khol kar usne gaalon par maujood un zakhmon par lagana shuru kar diya jahan ab use pehli baar takleef ho rahi thi.
Washroom se bahar nikalte hue use ehsaas ho raha tha ke uske haath ab bhi kaanp rahe hain.
“Mujhe doctor ke paas chale jana chahiye.” Wo apni mutthiyaan bheenchney laga. “Mujhe madad ki zaroorat hai apna check up karwana hai.”
Wo nahin jaanta tha use ek dam wahan wehshat kyun hone lagi thi. Use apna saans wahan band hota mehsoos ho raha tha. yun jaisekoi uski gardan par paaon rakhe aahista aahista dabao daal raha tha.
“Kya ye mumkin hai ke sab log mujhe is tarah bhool jayein. Is tarah……….”
Usne apni wardrobe se naye kapde nikaal r ek baar phir kuch der pehe ka pehna hua libaas badalna shuru kar diya. Wo jald az jald doctor ke paas jaana chahta tha use apne apartment se ek dam khauf mehsoos hone laga tha.
Us raat ghar aa kar wo taqreeban saari raat jaagta raha tha. Ek ajeeb si kaifiyat ne use apni giraft mein liya hua tha. Uska zahen ye tasleem nahin kar raha tha ke use is tarah bhula diya gaya hai. Wo maan baap ki zarurat se zyada tawajjoh hamesha haasil karta raha tha. Kuch uski harkaton ki wajah se bhi Sikandar Usman aur Tayyaba ko uske maamley mein bahot zyada mohtaat hona pada tha. Wo hamesha hi uske barey mein fikar mand rahe the, magar ab ek dam chand dino ke liye wo jaise sab ki zindagi se nikal gaya tha. Doston ki, bahen bhaiyon ki, maan baap ki. Wo agar us bimari ke dauraan wahan us apartment mein mar jata to kisi ko pata tak nahin chalta shayad tab tak jab tak uski laash galney sadney na lagti aur is mausam mein aisa hone mein kitne din lagte.
Wo us raat ek ek ghantey ke baad apne answer phone ko check karta raha. Agla poora hafta usne isi be yaqeeni ke aalam mein apne apartment mein guzara, pure haftey ke dauraan usi kahin se koi call nahin mili.
“Kya ye sab log mujhe bhul gaye hain?”
Wo wehshat zada ho gaya. Ek haftey tak bewaqoofun ki tarah kisi ki call ka intezaar karte rehne ke baad usne khud sab se raabtey ki koshish ki.
Wo unhein phone par batana chahta tha ke uske sath kya hua tha. Wo kis kaifiyat se guzara tha. Wo unke sath shikwa karna chahta tha, magar har ek se raabta karne par use pehli baar yun mehsoos hua jaise kisi ko usmein koi dilchaspi hi nahin thi. Har ek ke paas apni masroofiyaat ki tafseelaat thin.
Sikandar aur Tayyaba use Australia mein apni sargarmiyon se aagaah karte rahe. Wo wahan kya kar rahe the, kitna enjoy kar rahe the. Wo kuch ghayab dimaaghi ke aalam mein unki baatein sunta raha.
“Tum enjoy kar rahe ho apni chuttiyaan?”
Bahot lambi chaudi baat ke baad Tayyaba ne bil aakhir usse pucha.
“Main? Haan, bahot………” Wo sirf teen lafz bol saka.
Wo waqai nahin jaanta tha ke use Tayyaba se kya kehna, kya batana chahiye.
Baari baari sab se baat karte hue wo pehli baat is qism ki sura-e-haal aur kaifiyat se do chaar hua tha. Un mein se ar ek ko buniyaadi taur par sirf apni zindagi se dilchaspi thi. Shayad wo unhein apne saath hone waale waqe’aat batata to wo uske liye tashweesh ka izhaar karte. Pareshaan ho jate magar wo sab baad mein hota. Uske batane ke baad, is se pehle unki zindagi ke daairey mein uski zindagi kahan aati thi. Kis ko dilchaspi thi ye sunne mein ke uske chand din kis tarah ghayab ho gaye.
Aur shayad tab hi usne pehli baar socha agar meri zindagi khatm bhi ho gayi to kisi dusre ko usse kya farq padega. Duniya mein kya tabdeeli aayegi? Mera khaandaan kya mehsoos karega? Kuch bhi nahin. Chand dino ke dukh ke alawa wo aur kuch bhi nahin aur duniya mein to shayad chand lamhon ke liye bhi koi tabdeeli na aaye.
Salar Sikandar agar ghayab ho jaye to waqai kisi dusrey ko usse kya farq padega. Chahe uska IQ level 150+ ho. Wo apni sochon ko jhatakney ki koshish karta magar aisi maayusi aur is tarah ki zehni haalat……. aakhir mujhe ho kya gaya hai agar sab log kuch dino ke liye mujhe bhul bhi gaye to usse kya farq padega. Baaz dafa aisa ho jata hai main bhi to bahot baar bahot se logon ke saath raabta nahin rakh paata. Phir agar mere saath aisa ho gaya to. Magar mere saath aisa kyun hua? Aur agar waqai main, main use be hoshi se wapas na aata to………. Agar mera bukhaar kam na hota, agar seeney ya pet ka wo dard khatm na hota……….. apne zahen se wo ye sab kuch jhatakney ki koshish karta laikin naakaam rehta ye takleef se zyada khauf tha jis ka shikaar wo is achaanak bimari ke dauraan hua tha.“Shayad main kuch zyada hassaas hota jaa raha hoon.” Wo sochta warna ek maamuli si behoshi ko khwaahmakhwaah hawwa bana kar sar par kyun sawaar kar raha hoon.
Wo jhunjhlaata.
“Kam az kam ab to theek ho chuka hoon phir aakhir ab mujhe kya takleef hai ke main is tarah maut ke barey mein soch raha hoon. Aakhir pehle bhi to kai baar bimar ho chuka hoon. Khud kushi ki koshish kar chuka hon, jab mujhe kisi khauf ne tang nahin kiya to ab kyun mujhe is tarah ke khauf tang karne lage hain.”
Uski uljhan aur izteraab mein izaafa hota jaa raha tha.
“Aur phir mujhe to bukhaar ki wo takleef theek se yaad bhi nahin. Mere liye to ye sirf khwaab ya coma ki tarah hai. Usse zyada kuch bhi nahin.” Wo muskuraaney ki koshish karta.
“Kya cheez hai jo mujhe pareshaan kar rahi ho. Kya bimari? Ya phir ye baat ke kisi ko meri zarurat nahin padi. Kisi ko meri yaad nahin aayi. Khayaal tak nahin, mere apne logon ko bhi, mere family members ko, doston ko………..”
“My god………. tumhein kya hua hai Salar?” University kultey hi pehle hi din Sandra ne use dekhte hi kaha.
“Mujhe kuch bhi nahin hua.” Salar ne muskuraaney ki koshish ki.
“Tum bimaar rahe ho?” use tashweesh hui.
“Haan thoda bahot.”
“Magar mujhe to nahin lagte ke tum thode bahot bimaar rahe ho. Tumhara wazan kam ho gaya hai aur aankhon ke gird halqey pade hue hain. Kya bimari thi tumhein?”
“Kuch nahin. Thoda sa bukhaar aur food poisoning……….” Wo phir muskuraya.
“Tum Pakistan gaye hue the?”
“Nahin, yahin tha.”
“Magar main ne to tumhein New York jaane se pehle kai baar ring kiya. Hamesha answer phone hi mila. Tum ye record karwa dete ke tum Pakistan jaa rahe ho.”
“Just stop it!” wo be ikhteyaar jhunjhlaaya. “Sawaal par sawaal karti jaa rahi ho tum.”
Sandra hairaani se uska chehra dekhne lagi. “Tum meri biwi to nahin ho ke is tarah baat kar rahi ho mujh se?”
“Salar kya hua?”
“Kuch nahin hua, bas tum khatm karo ye saari baat. Kya hua? Kyun hua? Kahan rahe? Kyun rahe? Rubbish.”
Sandra chand lamhey kuch na bol saki. Use andaaza nahin tha ke wo is tarah react karega.
Sandra us din usse ye sarey sawaal puchne wali akeli nahin thi. Uske tamaam doston aur jaanne walon ne use dekhte hi kuch is tarah ke sawaal, tabsarey aur ta’assuraat diye the. Wo din khatm hone tak buri tarah jhunjhlaahat ka shikaar ho chuka tha aur kisi had tak mustail bhi. Wo kam az kam un sawaalon ko sunne ke liye university nahin aaya tha. Is tarah ke tabsarey use baar baar yaad dahaani karwa rahe the ke uske sath kuch na kuch ghalart zaroor ho chuka hai aur wo un ehsasaat se chutkaara paana chahta tha.
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Shabana Mukhtar