Disclaimer
This book is transliteration of Umera Ahmed’s masterpiece Peer-e-Kaamil WITHOUT HER PERMISSION.
This is only for those readers who understand Urdu but can’t read it. On Goodreads, some people asked meabout Roman transliteration of Peer-e-Kamil. I couldn’t find it, so I made a mental note to try and make it available to others for free when I get time. Then I forgot about it because I never get time.
And this morning, I got this book. Some kind soul had enough time to transliterate, print, and spiral bind and bring it home.
Anyone interested in reading the roman version can borrow from me.
And those online can read it here.
P.S. This is NOT English translation. If you want that, it’s available on Amazon.
Gaadi bahot mohtaat andaaz mein sadak par phisal rahi thi. Salar kai saal baad pehli baar us sadak par raat ke is paher gaadi chala raha tha. Wo raat uski aankhon ke saamney kisi film ki tarah chal rahi thi. use laga 8 saal ud kar ghayab ho gaye the. Sab kuch wahi tha, wahin tha.
Koi badi aahistagi se us ke barabar aa baitha. Us ne apne aap ko faraib ki giraft mein aane diya. Gardan mod kar barabar wali seat ko nahin dekha. Illusion ko haqeeqat banne diya. Jaante bujhtey khuli aankhon ke saath. Koi ab siskiyon ke saath ro raha tha.
Dear Uncle Sikandar!
Mujhe aap ke bete ki maut ke barey mein jaan kar bahot afsos hua. Meri wajah se aap logon ko chand saal bahot pareshaani ka saamna karna pada, main uske liye maazrat khwaah hoon. Mujhe Salar ko kuch raqm ada karni thi. wo main aap ko bhijwa rahi hoon.
Khuda Hafiz
Imama Hashim
Ek baar phir khat ki tehreer uske zahen mein gunjney lagi thi.
Wo Sikandar Usman ke paas se aa kar bahot der tak khat liye apne kamrey mein baitha raha.
Us ne Imama ko raqm nahin di thi magar wo jaanta tha usne uska kaun sa qarz lautaya tha. Mobile phone ki qeemat aur uske bills. Wo khaali-uz-zehni ke aalam mein apne bed par baithey neem taareek kamrey ki khidkiyon se bahar uske ghar ki imaarat ko dekhta raha. Saari duniya ek dam jaise har zinda shay se khali ho gayi thi.
Us ne khat ki wo tehreer padhi. Wo Imama ke ghar se jaane ke taqreeban dhaai saal baad bheja gaya tha.
Dhaai saal baad agar wo 20 hazar rupaye use bhijwa rahi thi to iska matlab tha wo khairiyat se thi. kam az kam us ke Imama ke barey mein bad tareen khadshaat aur andeshey durust saabit nahin hue the. Use khushi thi laikin agar usne ye samajh liya tha ke Salar mar chuka tha to phir wo uski zindagi se bhi nikal chuka tha aur iska kya matlab tha wo ye bhi jaanta tha.
Kai ghantey wo isi tarah wahin baitha raha phir pata nahin uske dil mein kya aaya, apna bag pack kar ke wo ghar se nikal aaya.
Aur ab wo us sadak par tha. Usi dhund mein, usi mausam mein, sab kuch jaise dhuvaan ban raha tha ya phir dhund………. Chand ghanton mein wo usi hotel numa service station ke paas jaa pahoncha. Us ne gaadi rok li. Dhund mein malfoof wo imaarat ab bilkul badal chuki thi. gaadi ko mod kar wo sadak se utaar kar andar le aaya. Phir darwaza khol kar niche utar aaya. 8 saal pehle ki tarah aaj bhi wahan khamushi ka raaj tha. Sirf lights ki tadaad pehle se zyada thi. usne horn nahin diya, isliye andar se koi nahin nikla. Bar-aamdey mein ab wo paani ka drum nahin tha. Wo bar-aamdey se guzartey hue andar jaane laga, tab hi andar se ek shakhs nikal aaya, isse pehle ke wo kuch kehta, Salar ne usse kaha.
“Main chai peena chahta hoon.”
Usne jamaahi li aur wapas mud gaya.
“Aa jaayein…….”
Salar andar chala gaya. Ye wahi kamra tha magar andar se kuch badal chuka tha. Pehle ki nisbat mezon aur kursiyon ki tadaad zyada thi aur kamrey ki haalat bhi bahot behtar ho chuki thi.
“Chai lenge ya sath kuch aur bhi?” Us aadmi ne achanak mud kar pucha.
“Sirf chai.”
Salar ek kursi kheench kar baith gaya.
Aadmi counter ke aqab mein ab stove jalaaney mein masroof ho chuka tha.
“Aap kahan se aaye hain?” usne chai ke liye ketli upar rakhte hue Salar se pucha.
Jawaab nahin aaya.
Us shakhs ne gardan mod kar dekha. Chai peeney ke liye aane wala wo shakhs kamrey ke ek koney par nazrein jamaaye hue tha. Bilkul patthar ke kisi mujasmey ki tarah bey his-o-harkat.
Wo namaz padh kar uske bil muqaabil mez ke dusri jaanib kursi par aa baithi thi. kuch kahe baghair usne mez par pada chai ka cup uthaya aur use peeney lagi. Ladka tab tak burger le aaya tha aur ab table par burger rakh raha tha. Salar teekhi nazron ke sath burger ki plate ko dekh raha tha, jo uske saamne rakhi jaa rahi thi. jab ladke ne plate rakh di to Salar ne kaantey ke sath burger ka upar wala hissa uthaya aur tanqeedi nazron se filling ka jaaiza lene laga. Phir chhuri utha kar usne ladke se kaha jo ab Imama ke burger ki plate uske saamne rakh chuka tha.
“Ye shaami kabab hai?”
Wo filling ki upar wali teh ko alag kar raha tha.
“Ye omelette hai?” Us ne niche maujood omelette ko chhuri ki madad se thoda ooncha kiya.
“Aur ye ketchup……….. to chicken kahan hai? Main ne tumhein chicken burger lane ko kaha tha na?”
Usne akkhad lehjey mein ladke se kaha.
Imama tab tak khamushi se burger utha kar khane mein masroof ho chuki thi.
“Ye chicken burger hai.” Ladke ne qadrey gadbada kar kaha.
“Kaise chicken burger hai? Is mein chicken kahin nahin hai.” Salar ne challenge kiya.
“Ham ise hi chicken burger kehte hain.” Wo ladka ab nervous ho raha tha.
“Aur jo saada burger hai us mein kya daalte ho?”
“Us mein bas shaami kabab hota hai. Anda nahin hota.”
“Aur anda daal kar saada burger chicken burger ban jaata hai, chunke andey se murghi nikalti hai aur murghi ke gosht ko chicken kehte hain isliye directly nahin to indirectly ye chicken burger banta hai.”
Salar ne badi sanjeedgi se kaha. Wo ladka khisiyaaney andaz mein hansa. Imama un donon ki guftgu par tawajjoh diye baghair hath mein padka burger khane mein masroof thi.
“Theek hai jao.” Salar ne kaha.
Ladke ne yaqeenan sukoon ka saans liya aur wahan se ghayab ho gaya. Chhuri aur kaantey ko rakh kar Salar ne bayen hath se burger ko utha liya. Burger khate hue Imama ne pehli baar plate se Salar ke honton tak bayen hath mein burger ke safar ko tajjub aamez nazron se dekha aur ye tajjub ek lamhey mein ghayab ho gaya tha. Wo ek baar phir burger khane mein masroof thi. Salar ne burger ko daanton se kaata ek lamhey ke liye munh chalaya aur phir burger ko apni plate mein ucchaal diya.
“Fuzool burger hai. Tum kis tarah kha rahi ho?” Salar ne luqmey ko bamushkli halaq se nigaltey hua kaha.
“Itna bura bhi nahin hai jitna tumhein lag raha hai.”Imama ne bey ta’assur andaz mein kaha.
“Har cheez mein tumhara standard bahot low hai Imama! Wo chahey burger ho ya shauhar.”
Burger khate hue Imama ka hath ruk gaya. Salar ne uske safed chehrey ko ek pal mein surkh hote dekha. Salar ke chehrey par tapa dene wali muskurahat aayi.
“Main Jalaal Ansar ki baat kar raha hoon.” Usne jaise Imama ko yaad dilaya.
“Tum theek kehte ho.”Imama ne pur sukoon lehjey mein kaha.
“Mera standard waqai bahot low hai.” Wo ek baar phir burger khane lagi.
“Main ne socha tum burger mere munh par de marogi.” Salar ne dabi muskurahat ke sath kaha.
“Main rizq jaise neymat ko kyun zaaye karungi.”
“Ye itna bura burger neymat hai?” Us ne tazheek aamez andaz mein kaha.
“Aur kaun kaun si neymatein hain is waqt tumhare paas…………”
“Insaan Allah ki neymaton ka hukr ada kar hi nahin sakta. Ye meri zabaan par zaaiqa chakhney ki jo his hai ye kitni badi neymat hai ke main agar koi cheez khati hoon to us mein zaaiqa mehsoos kar sakti hoon. Bahot se log is neymat se bhi mehroom hote hain.”
“Aur un logon mein top of the list Salar Sikandar ka naam hoga, hai na?”
Usne Imama ki baat mukammal hone se pehle hi tez aawaz mein uski baat kaati.
“Salar Sikandar kam az kam is tarah ki cheezein kha kar enjoy nahin kar sakta.”
Us shakhs ne chai ka cup uske saamne rakh diya. Salar ek dam chaunk gaya. Saamne wali kursi ab khali thi.
“Saath mein aur kuch chahiye?” Aadmi ne khade khade phir pucha.
“Nahin, bas chai kaafi hai.” Salar ne chai ka cup apni taraf kheenchtey hue kaha.
“Aap Islamabad se aaye hain?” Us ne pucha.
“Haan.”
“Lahore jaa rahe hain?” Us ne ek aur sawaal kiya.
Is baar Salar ne sar ke isharey se jawaab diya. Wo ab chai ka ghont le raha tha. Us aadmi ko shubah hua ke usne chai peeney wale shakhs ki aankhon mein nami dekhi hai.
“Main kuch der yahan akela baithna chahta hoon.” Usne chai ka cup mez par rakhte hue sar uthaye baghair kaha.
Wo shakhs kuch tajjub se use dekhta hua wapas kitchen mein chala gaya aur saanvi nauiyat ke kaamon mein masroof gaahey ba gaahey door se Salar par nazrein daudaata raha.
Purey 15 minute baad us ne Salar ko table chhod kar kamrey se nikalte dekha. Wo aadmi badi tez raftaari ke sath kitchen se kamrey mein wapas aaya magar is se pehle ke wo Salar ke peechey bahar jaata, mez par khali cup ke niche padey ek note ne use rok liya. Wo bhaunchakka sa us note ko dekhta raha. Phir use aagey badh kar us note ko pakda aur tezi se kamrey se bahar aa gaya. Salar ki gaadi us waqt reverse hote hue main road par jaa rahi thi. us aadmi ne hairaani se dur jaati hui gaadi ko dekha phir hath mein pakdey us hazar ke note ko bar aamdey mein lagi tube light ki raushni mein dekha.
“Note asli hai magar aadmi bey waqoof……..”
Usne apni khushi par qaabu paatey hue zair-e-lab tabsara kiya aur note ko jeb mein daal liya.
Next episode:
https://theothermeunfolded.com/blog/peer-e-kaamil-roman-urdu-umera-ahmed-episode-150/
Prev episode:
https://theothermeunfolded.com/blog/peer-e-kaamil-roman-urdu-umera-ahmed-episode-148/
Stay tuned for more book reviews.
Until next time, happy reading!
~~~
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Shabana Mukhtar