Okay, so people are going crazy over Sajal and Ahad.
Ali Ansari and Saboor Aly got married. Congratulations, Saboor and Ali.
Saboor’s sister Sajal attended the wedding, but Sajal’s husband Ahad Raza Mir did not.
What really happened?
Netizens blew things out of proportion: some missed seeing the lovely couple, some came up with reasons Ahad did not attend the wedding, some speculated that the couple is separated, and some went crazy calling them names and suggesting that both Sajal and Ahad should find others.
What on earth?
I don’t much follow the actors etc, so I was unaware of this story. Last night, I watched a Haute Bites and I was surprised that Hassan and Amina were sort of forced to comment on #sahad.
Seriously, what is wrong with us?
I don’t read comments much; already too much negativity in life. Apparently, the comment section was downright nasty about Sajal and Ahad.
I understand the sentiments
I really do… When we are crazy about some celebrities, we also tend to obsess over their lives and love-lives. And this obsession can get out of hand. My sister and I are still not over the fact that Deepika Padukone married Ranveer Singh. We always shipped Deepika Padukone and Ranbir Kapoor. The other day, my sister asked me how I feel about Alia Bhatt and Ranbir Kapoor getting married.
Me: I like Alia, and I like Ranbir, but I don’t like them together. Nobody can beat Deepika and Ranbir.
Sis: But Deepika is already married to Ranveer.
Me: She should come back to Ranbir.
Sis: What will Alia do?
Me: Go back to Varun.
Sis: What will Ranveer do?
Me: Go back to Anushka.
Sis: What will Virat do?
Me: Just play cricket.
Do you see how silly this is?
It is their lives, their choices. Who am I to decide what they should or shouldn’t do?
Just because I like two people together, doesn’t mean that they will lead their lives per our whims.
This silly conversation was between me and my sister, until now. Some fans take it to internet-twitter, instagram and the likes, and express their views. Nothing wrong in that, as long as you keep it polite.
Ahad didn’t attend his sister-in-laws wedding: it happens
I recently attended a wedding where bride’s brother-in-law did not attend the wedding. No, he was not out of town, nor did he have anything else to do. Apparently, he did not want to attend the wedding. All 300 women in the wedding lawn were discussing the same thing.
“Did you hear? Bride’s elder sister’s husband didn’t come to the wedding.”
It was the time when wedding lawns were still allowed to operate. I’m sure the other side of the pandal, men must be discussing the same. Imagine, one person not attending the wedding and 600 people talking about it.
Now take it to a celebrity level. Things are bound to get crazy.
Here’s the deal. People have too much free time in their hands. When people don’t have a life of their own, this is what they do-comment on other’s.
Let’s consider a scenario
There’s a wedding in Ahad’s family, and there’s a wedding in Sajal’s family.
Ahad: You can attend Saboor’s wedding, and I will attend the wedding in my family.
Sajal: Okay, I will go and wish the bride and groom, since I can’t attend their wedding.
Ahad: I will meet Ali and Saboor and congratulate them, since I can’t attend their wedding.
You see what I did there? I came up with a plausible reason.
But did I have to?
I have a million things to take care of. I should have finished that draft story I am pushing aside for months. But instead, I wasted my time and energy worrying about a couple who doesn’t even know of my existence.
Speculations don’t help nobody
If one starts to speculate, it will never end. There could be a million possible reasons, or at least a hundred. If we let ourselves think about things that we aren’t in our control, nothing will come out of it except angst and anxiety. Nobody benefits from this.
Let me share a personal experience. A couple of days back I was drafting a new post to answer people’s question about Hashim Nadeem’s novel Parizaad. I stumbled upon another review. The review was eerily similar to mine, just re-worded and stripped of my general rant and sarcasm.
I was shocked, to say the least. When I approached them, they claimed to have done the review on their own. I don’t agree to them. No two people read the story the same way, no two people can review a novel the same way; and certainly not use the same sentence structure.
But I slept on it. And then I realized something. This isn’t in my control.
They either stole my content, or they didn’t. If they didn’t, I shouldn’t say anything because I can’t prove my claim. I leave this matter to Allah because Allah knows the best. If they did, they will be punished for it in Akhirat. I shouldn’t point at them and send more traffic to their website, right?
If one begins to speculate, one can come up with a million conspiracy theories. And, it doesn’t help anyone. Instead, use that creativity elsewhere. For example, write a story about that. That will earn you some money. Haha.
Things aren’t in your control, they never are. A superior power is controlling us all. We should learn our place in the world and try to contribute our tiny bit of goodness and kindness.
Let’s just use our time on constructive things. Your seemingly innocent comment might hurt someone, and you will be answerable for that in the life hereafter.
May Allah bless the Aly sisters and their spouses with abundant happiness and love, amen.
May Allah bless us all with some sense and empathy, amen.
May Allah bless me with strength and capability to do the right thing.