Disclaimer
This book is transliteration of Umera Ahmed’s masterpiece Peer-e-Kaamil WITHOUT HER PERMISSION.
This is only for those readers who understand Urdu but can’t read it. On Goodreads, some people asked meabout Roman transliteration of Peer-e-Kamil. I couldn’t find it, so I made a mental note to try and make it available to others for free when I get time. Then I forgot about it because I never get time.
And this morning, I got this book. Some kind soul had enough time to transliterate, print, and spiral bind and bring it home.
Anyone interested in reading the roman version can borrow from me.
And those online can read it here.
P.S. This is NOT English translation. If you want that, it’s available on Amazon.
Gaadi us badi sadak par daud rahi thi jo taqreeban sunsaan thi. Traffic na hone ke barabar tha. Steering par daayaan hath rakhe usne baayein haath ko munh ke saamne rakh kar jamaahi roki aur neend ke ghalbe ko bhagaane ki koshish ki. Uske barabar ki seat par baithi hui Imama be aawaz ro rahi thi aur Salar is baat se baa-khabar tha. Wo waqtan-fawaqtan apne haath mein pakde rumaal se wo apni aankhein ponchti aur apni naak ragad leti………… Aur phir saamne wind screen se bahar sadak par nazrein jama kar rona shuru kar deti.
Salar waqfe waqfe se us par uchat’ti nazar daalta raha. Usne Imama ko koi tasalli dene ya chup karwaane ki koshish nahi ki thi. Uska khayaal tha ke wo khud hi kuch der aansu baha kar khamoosh ho jayegi, magar jab aadh ghanta guzar jaane ke baad bhi wo usi raftaar se roti rahi to wo kuch uktaane laga.
“Agar tumhein ghar se is tarah bhaag aane par itna pachtaawa hona tha to phir tumhein ghar se bhaagna hi nahin chahiye tha.”
Salar ne khamushi ko todte hue kaha. Imama ne uski baat ka koi jawaab nahin diya.
“Abhi bhi kuch nahin bigda, abhi to shayad tumhare ghar mein kisi ko tumhari ghair-maujoodgi ka pata bhi nahin chala hoga.” Usne kuch der uske jawaab ke intezaar ke baad use mashwara diya.
“Mujhe koi pachtawa nahin hai.” Is baar usne chand lamhe khamoosh rehne ke baad qadrey bharrayi hui magar mustehkam aawaz mein kaha.
“To phir tum ro kyun rahi ho?” Salar ne fauran pucha.
“Tumhein batane ka koi fayda nahin.” Wo ek baar phir aankhein ponchte hue boli. Salar ne gardan mod kar use ghaur se dekha aur phir gardan seedhi kar li.
“Lahore mein kis ke paas jaogi?”
“Pata nahin.”Imama ke jawaab par Salar ne qadrey hairaani se use dekha.
“Kya matlab………. Tumhein pata nahin hai ke tum kahan ja rahi ho?”
“Filhaal to nahin.”
“To phir aakhir tum Lahore kyun ja rahi ho?”
“To phir aur kahan jaun?”
“Tum Islamabad mein hi reh sakti thin.”
“Kis ke paas?”
“Lahore mein bhi to koi nahin hai jis ke paas tum reh sako………. Aur wo bhi mustaqil…….. Jalaal ke alawa.” Salar ne aakhri 3 lafzon par zor dete hue gardan mod kar use dekha.
“Us ke paas ja rahi ho tum?” Kuch der baad us ne qadrey chubhte lehje mein kaha.
“Nahin, Jalaal meri zindagi se nikal chuka hai.” Salar andaza nahin kar saka ke uski aawaz mein maayusi zyada thi ya afsurdagi. “Uske paas kaise ja sakti hoon main.”
“To phir aur kahan jaogi?” Salar ne ek baar phir tajassus ke aalam mein pucha.
“Ye to main Lahore jaane par hi tay karungi ke mujhe kahan jana hai, kis ke paas jana hai.”
Imama ne kaha.
Salar ne kuch be yaqeeni ke aalam mein use dekha. Kya waqai wo nahin jaanti thi ke use kahan jana tha ya phir batana nahin chahti thi. Gaadi mein ek baar khamushi chaa gayi.
“Tumhara fiance, kya naam hai uska……………. Haan Asjad……….. Kaafi handsome aadmi hai.” Ek baar phir Salar ne hi khamushi ko toda. “Aur ye jo dusra aadmi tha………. Jalaal…………. Uske muqaable mein to kuch bhi nahin hai………….. Kuch zyadati nahin kardi tum ne Asjad ke sath?”
Imama ne uske sawaal ke jawaab mein kuch nahin kaha. Wo sirf saamne sadak ko dekhti rahi. Salar kuch der gardan mod kar uske jawaab ke intezaar mein uska chehra dekhta raha magar phir use ehsaas ho gaya ke wo jawaab nahin dena chahti.
“Main tumhein samajh nahin paaya………… jo kuch tum kar rahi ho, use bhi nahin………….. Tumhari harkatein bahot ………. bahot ajeeb hain………. Aur tum apni harkaton se zyada ajeeb ho.” Salar ne kuch der baad khamoosh rehne ke baad kaha.
Is baar Imama ne gardan mod kar use dekha.
“Kya tumhari harkaton se zyada ajeeb hain meri harkatein?……….. aur kya main tum se zyada ajeeb hoon?” Bade dheeme magar mustehkam lehje mein puche gaye is sawaal ne chand lamhon ke liye Salar ko lajawaab kar diya tha.
“meri kaun si harkatein ajeeb hain……… Aur main kis liye ajeeb hoon?” Chand lamhe khamoosh rehne ke baad Salar ne kaha.
“Tum jaante ho, tumhari kaun si harkatein ajeeb hain.”
Imama ne wapas wind screen ki taraf gardan modte hue kaha.
“Yaqeenan meri khud kushi ki hi baat kar rahi ho tum.”
Salar ne khud hi apne sawaal ka jawaab dete hue kaha.
“Halaan ke main khud kushi nahin karna chahta, naa hi main khud kushi ki koshish kar raha hoon, main to sirf ek tajruba karna chahta tha.”
“Kaisa tajruba?”
“Main hamesha logon se ek sawaal poochta hoon, magar koi bhi mujhe iska tasalli bakhsh jawaab nahin de saka, isliye main us sawaal ka jawaab khud dhoondne ki koshish kar raha hoon.”
Wo bolta raha.
“Kya puchte ho tum logon se?”
“Bahot aasaan sa sawaal hai magar har ek ko mushkil lagta hai.”
“What is next to ecstasy?” Usne gardan mod kar Imama se pucha.
Wo kuch der use dekhti rahi phir usne maddham aawaz mein kaha.
“Pain.”
“And what is next to pain?” Salar ne bila tawaqquf ek aur sawaal kiya.
“Nothingness.”
“What is next to nothingness?”Salar ne usi andaaz mein ek aur sawaal kiya.
“Hell.”Imama ne kaha.
“And what is next to hell?” Is baar Imamakhamushi se uska chehra dekhti rahi.
“What is next to hell?” Salar ne apna sawaal dohraya.
“Tumhein khauf nahin aata?” Salar ne Imama ko qadrey ajeeb se andaaz se puchte suna.
“Kis cheez se?” Salar hairaan hua.
“Hell se………… Us jagah jis ke aage aur kuch nahin hota……… Sab kuch uske piche reh jata hai……….. Ma’toob aur maghzoob ho jaane ke baad baaqi bachta kya hai kise jaanne ka tumhein tajassus hai.”Imama ne qadrey afsos se kaha.
“Main tumhari baat samajh nahin saka……… Sab kuch mere sar ke upar se guzra hai.” Salar ne jaise ailaan karne wale andaaz mein kaha.
“Fikr mat karo……. Aa jayegi……… Ek waqt aayega……… Jab tumhein har cheez samajh aa jayegi phir tumhari hansi khatm ho jayegi………. Tab tumhein khauf aane lagega………. Maut se bhi aur dauzakh se bhi……….. Allah tumhein sab kuch dikha aur bata dega………. Phir tum kisi se ye kabhi nahin pucha karoge…….. What is next to ecstasy?”Imama ne bahot rasaaniyat se kaha.
“Ye tumhari pesh-goi hai?” Salar ne uski baat ke jawaab mein kuch chubhte hue lehje mein kaha.
“Nahin.”Imama ne usi andaaz mein kaha.
“Tajruba?” Salar ne gardan seedhi kar li. “Haan, ye tumhara tajruba hi ho sakta hai……….. Ki to tum ne bhi khud kushi hi hai……… Mera matlab hai karne ki koshish ki hai……….. Main ne apne tareeqey se ye koshish ki thi………. Tum ne apne tareeqey se ki hai.” Salar ne sard mohri se kaha.
Imama ki aankhon mein ek baar phir aansu aa gaye. Gardan mod kar usne Salar ko dekha.
“Main ne koi khud kushi nahin ki hai.”
“Kisi ladke ke liye ghar se bhaagna ek ladki ke liye khud kushi hi hoti hai……….. wo bhi us surat mein jab wo ladka shaid par tayyar na ho……….. dekho, main khud ek ladka hoon…….. bahot broad minded aur liberal hoon aur main bilkul bura nahin samajhta agar ek ladki ghar se bhaag kar kisi ladke ke sath court marriage ya shadi kar le…….. Magar wo ladka uska sath to de……….. Ek aise ladke ke liye ghar se bhaag jana jo shadi kar chuka ho………… tch tch………. meri samajh mein nahin aaya aur phir tumhari umr mein bhaagna…….. Bilkul himaaqat hai.”
“Main kisi ladke ke liye nahin bhaagi hoon.”
“Jalaal Ansar!” Salar ne uski baat kaat kar use yaad dilaya.
“Main uske liye nahin bhaagi hoon.” Wo be-ikhteyaar buland aawaz mein chillayi Salar ka paaon break par ja pada. Usne hairaani se Imama ko dekha.
“To mujh par kyun chilla rahi ho, mujh par chillane ki zaroorat nahin hai.” Salar ne naarazi se kaha. Wo khidki se bahar dekhne lagi.
“Ye jo tumhari mazhab wali theory, philosophy ya point ya jo bhi hai, I don’t get it, kya farq padta hai, agar koi kisi aur ko paighambar maanna shuru ho gaya……… Zindagi in fizool baheson ke alawa bhi kuch hai……… Mazhab, aqeedey ya firqey par ladna……….. What rubbish.”
Imama ne gardan mod kar naarazi ke aalam mein use dekha. “Jo cheezen tumhare liye fizool hain, zaroori nahin wo har ek ke liye fizool hon. Main apne mazhab par qayem rehna nahin chahti aur na hi us mazhab ke kisi shakhs se shadi karna chahti hoon. To ye mera haq hai ke main aisa karun, main tum se aisi cheezon ke barey mein bahes nahin karna chahti jise tum nahin samajhte……….. Isliye tum in maamlaat ke barey mein is tarah ke tabsarey mat karo.”
“Mujhe haq hai ke main jo chahe kahun, freedom of expression……..” Salar ne kaandhe uchkaate hue kaha. Imama ne jawaab dene ki bajaye khamushi ikhteyaar ki. Wo khidki se bahar dekhne lagi. Salar bhi khamushi se gaadi drive karne laga.
“Ye Jalaal Ansar……… Main uski baat kar raha tha.” Wo kuch der ki khamushi ke baad ek baar phir apne usi mauzoo ki taraf aa gaya.
“Us mein kya khaas baat hai?” usne gardan mod kar Imama ko dekha. Wo ab wind screen se bahar sadak ko dekh rahi thi. “Jalaal Ansar aur tumhara koi jod nahin……… wo bilkul handsome nahin hai. Tum ek khoobsurat lakdi ho, main hairaan hoon tum usmein kaise dilchaspi lene lagin……… Kya wo bahot zyada intelligent hai?” Usne Imama se pucha.
Imama ne hairaani se use dekha. “Intelligent………. Kya matlab?”
“Dekho, ya to kisi ki shakl achi lagti hai………. Main nahin samajhta tumhein Jalaal ki shakl achi lagti hogi ya phir kisi ka family background paisa waghaira kisi mein dilchaspi ka ba’as banta hai……….. Ab Jalaal ka family background ya maali haalat ke barey mein main nahin jaanta magar khud tumhara family background jitna sound hai, ye bhi tumhare liye ismein dilchaspi ka ba’as nahin ban sakta……….. Wahid bach jane wali wajah kisi ki zahaanat, qaabliyat waghaira hai……… Isliye puch raha hoon ke kya wo bahot intelligent hai………. Kya bahot outstanding aur brilliant hai?”
“Nahin .”Imama ne maddham andaaz mein kaha.
Salar ko maayusi hui. “To phir……… tum uski taraf mutawajjah kaise huin?”
Imama wind screen se bahar headlights ki raushni mein nazar aane wali sadak dekhti rahi. Salar ne apna sawaal dohraya phir kaandhe uchkaate hue wo dobara driving par tawajjoh dene laga. Gaadi mein ek baar phir khamushi chaa gayi.
“Wo naat bahot achi padhta hai.” Taqreeban 5 minute baad khamushi tooti thi. Wind screen se bahar dekhte hue maddham aawaz mein Imama yun badbadayi thi jaise khud kalaami kar rahi ho. Salar ne uska jumla sun liya tha magar wo use naa-qaabil-e-yaqeen laga.
“Kya?” Usne jaise tasdeeq chahi.
“Jalaal naat bahot achi padhta hai.” Usi tarah wind screen se bahar jhaankte hue kaha magar is baar uski aawaz kuch buland thi.
“Bas aawaz ki wajah se……… singer hai?” Salar ne tabsara kiya.
Imama ne nafi mein sar hila diya.
“Phir?”
“Bas wo naat padhta hai………….. Aur bahot khoobsurat padhta hai.”
Salar hansa. “Tum sirf uske naat padhne ki wajah se usse mohabbat mein giraftaar huin. Main kam az kam is par yaqeen nahin kar sakta.”
Imama ne gardan mod kar usko dekha. “To mat karo……… Tumhare yaqeen ki kis ko zaroorat hai.” Uski aawaz mein sard mohri thi. Gaadi mein ek baar phir khamushi cha gayi.
“Farz karo ye maan liya jaye ke tum waqai uske naat padhne se kuch muta’ssir ho kar itna aage badh gayin…….. To ye to koi zyada practical baat nahin hai…….. Babara Cartland ke novel wala romance hi hogaya ye to…….. aur tum ek medical student ho kar itna immature zahen rakhti ho?” Salar ne be rehmi se tabsara kiya.
Imama ne ek baar phir gardan mod kar use dekha. “Main bahot mature hoon…….. Bahot zyada……. Pichle 2-4 saalon mein mujh se zyada practical ho kar kisi ne cheezon ko nahin dekha hoga.”
“Meri raaye mehfooz hai……. Ho sakta hai tumhara practical hona mere practical hone se mukhtalif ho. Anyways main Jalaal ki baat kar raha tha………. Wo jo tum naat waghaira ka zikar kar rahi thin uski baat.”
“Baaz cheezon par apna ikhteyaar nahin hota, mera bhi nahin hai.” Is baar Imama ki aawaz mein shikastagi thi.
“Main pir tum se ittefaaq nahin karta. Har cheez apne ikhteyaar mein hoti hai……… Kam az kam apni feelings, emotions aur action par insaan ko control hota hai…….. Hamein pata hota hai ke ham kis shakhs ke liye kis tarah ki feelings develop kar rahe hain……… Kyun kar rahe hain, iska bhi pata hota hai……….. Aur jab tak ham baa-qayeda hosh-o-hawaas mein rehte hue un feelings ko develop nahin hone dete……. Wo nahin hotin……… Isliye ye nahin maan sakta ke aisi cheezon par apna control hi na rahe.”
Usne baat karte hue dusri baar Imama ko dekha aur use ehsaas hua ke wo uski baat nahin sun rahi thi. Wo palkein jhapkaaye baghair wind screen ko dekh rahi thi ya shayad wind screen se bahar dekh rahi thi. Uski aankhein mutawarram thin aur s waqt bhi un mein nami nazar aa rahi thi……… Wo zehni taur pair kahin aur maujood thi………. Kahan, ye wo nahin jaan sakta tha. Use wo ek baar phir abnormal lagi.
Bahot der tak khamushi se gaadi drive karte rehne ke baad Salar ne qadrey ukta kar ek baar phir use mukhaatib kiya.
“Naat padhne ke alawa usmein kaun si quality hai?” Uski aawaz buland thi. Imama be-ikhteyaar chaunk gayi.
“Naat padhne ke alawa usmein aur kya quality hai?” Salar ne apna sawaal dohraya.
“Har wo quality jo ek ache insaan…….. Ache musalmaan mein hoti hai.”Imama ne kaha.
“Mas’alan?” Salar ne bhanwein uchkaate hue kaha.
“Agar na bhi hotin to bhi wo shakhs Hazrat Muhammad ﷺ se itni mohabbat karta hain ke main use isi ek quality ki khaatir kisi bhi doosre shakhs par tarjeeh deti.”
Salar ajeeb andaaz mein muskuraya. “What a logic, aisi baaton mo main waqai nahin samajh sakta.” Usne gardan ko nafi mein hilaate hue kaha.
“Tum apni pasand se shadi karoge ya apne parents ki pasand se?”Imama ne achanak usse pucha. Wo hairaan hua.
“Ofcourse apni pasand se…….. parents ki pasand se shadi wala zamana to nahin hai ye.” Usne kaandhe uchkaate hue laparwahi se kaha.
“Tum bhi to kisi quality ki wajah se hi koi ladki pasand karoge…….. Shakl-o-surat ki wajah se……… Ya phir jis se tumhari understanding ho jayegi usse……… Aisa hi hoga na?” Wo puch rahi thi.
“Yaqeenan.” Salar ne kaha.
“Main bhi to yahi kar rahi hoon. Apni apni tarjeehaat ki baat hoti hai. Tum un cheezon ki bina par kisi se shadi karoge, main bhi aisi hi ek wajah ki bina par shadi karna chahti thi Jalaal Ansar se…….” Wo ruki.
“Meri khwaahish hai, meri shadi usse ho jo Hazrat Muhammad ﷺ se mujh se zyada mohabbat rakhta ho. Jalaal Ansar! Aap ﷺ se mujh se zyada mohabbat karta tha……….. Mujhe laga, mujhe isi shakhs se shadi karni chahiye……. Main ne tumse kaha baaz cheezon par ikhteyaar nahin hota…….. baaz khwaahishaat…….. bas unse chutkaara paana mumkin nahin hota.” Usne afsurdagi se sar ko jhatakte hue kaha.
“Aur ab jab wo shadi kar chuka hai to ab tum kya karogi?”
“Pata nahin.”
“Tum aisa karo……. Ke tum kisi aur naat padhne wale ko dhoond lo, tumhara mas’ala hal ho jayega.” Wo mazaq udaane wale andaaz mein hansa.
Imama palkein jhapkaaye baghair use dekhti rahi. Wo saffaaki ki had tak behis tha.
“Is tarah kyun dekh rahi ho tum……..main mazaq kar raha hoon.” Wo ab apni hansi par qaabu pa chuka tha. Imama ne kuch kehne ki bajaye gardan mod li.
“Tumhein tumhare father ne maara hai?” Salar ne pehli ki tarah kuch der khamoosh rehne ke baad bolne ka maamool jaari rakha.
“Tumhein kis ne bataya?”Imama ne use dekhe baghair kaha.
“Mulaazma ne.” Salar ne itmenaan se jawaab diya. “Bechari ye samajh rahi hai ke tum jo ye shadi se inkaar kar rahi ho wo meri wajah se kar rahi ho. Isliye us ne mujh tak tumhari “Haalar-e-zaar” badi dardnaak andaaz mein pahonchai thi…….. Mara hai tumhare father ne?”
“Haan.” Usne be ta’ssur andaaz mein kaha.
“Kyun?”
“Main ne pucha nahin, wo naraaz the isliye.”
“Tum ne kyun maarne diya?”
Imama ne gardan mod kar use dekha. “Wo mere baba hain, unhein haq hai, wo maar sakte hain mujhe.”
Salar ne hairaani se use dekha. “unki jagah koi bhi hota, wo is surat-e-haal mein yahi karta……… mujhe ye qaabil-e-aitraaz nahin laga.” Wo bade hamwaar lehje mein keh rahi thi.
“Agar maarne ka haq hai unhein to phir tumhari shadi karane ka bhi haq hai…….. us par itna hangama kyun khada kar rahi ho tum?” Salar ne chubhte hue lehje mein pucha.
“Kisi musalmaan se karte……….. Aur chahe jahan marzi kar dete……… Main kar leti.”
“Chahe wo Jalaal Ansar na hota?” Istehzaaiya andaaz mein kaha.
“Haan……… ab bhi aakhir kaun sa ho gayi hai usse.” Uski aankhon mein ek baar phir nami jhilmila rahi thi.
“To tum use ye keh detin.”
“Kaha tha……… Tum samajhte ho main ne nahin kaha hoga?”
“Mujhe ek baat par bahot hairaani hai.” Salar ne chand lamhon ke baad kaha.
Aakhir tum ne mujh se madad lene ka faisla kyun kiya……… Balke kaise kar liya. Tum mujhe khaasa naa pasand karti thin.” Usne Imama ki baat ka jawaab diye baghair baat jaari rakhi.
“Mere paas tumhare alawa dusra koi option tha hi nahin.”Imama ne maddham andaaz mein kaha. “Meri apni koi friend is tarah meri madad karne ki position mein nahin thi jis tarah koi ladka kar sakta tha. Asjad ke alawa main sirf Jalaal aur tum se waaqif thi…….. Aur sab se qareeb tareen sirf tum the jis se main fauri taur par raabta kar sakti thi, isliye main ne tum se raabta kiya.” Wo maddham andaaz mein ruk ruk kar bolti rahi.
“Tumhein yaqeen tha ke main tumhari madad karunga?”
“Nahin……… Main ne sirf ek risk liya tha. Yaqeen kaise ho sakta tha mujhe ke tum meri madad karoge. Main ne tumhein bataya na! mere paas tumhare alawa aur koi option tha hi nahin.”
“Yaani tum ne zaroorat ke waqt gadhe ko baap bana liya hai.” Uske be had ajeeb lehje mein kiye gaye tabsarey ne ek dam Imama ko khamoosh ho jane par majboor kar diya. Wo baat munh par maarne mein maahir tha magar usne ghalat bhi nahin kaha tha.
“Very interesting.” Usne Imama ke jawaab ka intezaar kiye baghair kaha jaise apne tabsarey par khud hi mehzooz hua tha.
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Shabana Mukhtar