I think we’ve all had a day of many firsts. Today was, in a way, a day of many lasts: the last day of the week, the last day of the month, and the last day of my Eid-ul-Adha PTO.

I was sitting in my office chair after Maghrib prayers (I have a dedicated room and a non-dedicated chair for my office work), looking at the day’s “target”; it looked alright. The week’s target? Not so much. I couldn’t decide whether I should recite Qur’an first, work through the other items on the list, or go help Mum with whatever she was doing (Ammi keeps busy all the time. ALL. THE. TIME.).

It was quite overwhelming, to be honest. And the overwhelmed version of me couldn’t help but recall a similar situation from July 29, 2022: It was our last day in Makkah, and I couldn’t decide what I should do more of: make more istighfaar because it was the last day, make more dua, or send more durood in preparation for Madinah.

So little time, so much to do.

And it got me thinking: why am I never ready? Why do I always feel overwhelmed because I haven’t already done what needed to be done?

On both occasions, I knew it was the last day, and I was still not ready. I still hadn’t met the target (although who even knows whether the targets we’ve set for ourselves are enough or not).

What, then, about the final last day?

Unless I’m (Nauzubillah) bedridden before my death, I couldn’t possibly know that it’s my last day. And if I am (Nauzubillah) bedridden, I might not even be in possession of my full faculties to do what I think the last day requires, right?

I’ve heard death isn’t easy, even for the most pious of people. Mera haal toh mujhe pata hi hai.

Toh sawaal sirf itna hai: when will I be ready? When will I be prepared? When will I be done with the “target”?

I think the most accurate answer is: never.

There will always be another page to recite, another dua to make, another act of worship to do, another shortcoming to work on. The target always remains just beyond reach.

Perhaps the goal isn’t to finally arrive at the target, but to spend our days moving towards it.

I can always try to be an iota closer than I was yesterday. A little more prepared. A little more sincere. A little more satisfied with what I’m doing.

That’s all I’m aiming for.