Daemons within

I suffer from lack of sleep. Is it insomnia, delayed sleep syndrome, or just that my body does not need as much sleep, this is something I am yet to figure out.

I ignored this problem for years. Last year, I realized that this is affecting my personal life and professional life both. I finally gathered courage and went to see a doctor. The doctor was very nice, asked a lot of questions to understand my case. He suggested a few medicines. He also suggested that if meds do not work, we will need to see a psychiatrist. I readily agreed.

After taking the meds, I was able to sleep before 11 pm for 3 days. Although I felt a little bit drowsy through the day, I generally felt good. I was less prone to negative thoughts and emotions attacking my mind. My body was experiencing a dull sensation, but I did not want to hit people, so I considered it as a good sign.

Come day 4 and I was not able to sleep, at all. I stayed up all day. I worked like a good employee for 8 hours. Came home, ate dinner, took the pills and hoped I would be falling asleep any moment. I didn’t. Second night in a row, I was not able to sleep. Next day, I could not go to office, I was in this next-to-unconscious state. All I could feel was pain. All I wanted was to fall asleep. I read a lot. I will not cite all those articles, as I do not really have those links anymore. All I can say is, sleep pills are not good for you. I did not want to stuff my body with chemicals, chemicals that would do more harm than good. I dutifully completed the prescribed set of medicines for prescribed duration. I did not visit the doctor again. He was a great doctor. I just was not ready to take more meds.

It all starts in brain and I have come to realize that if I could train my brain, I would win most of the inner battles – be it anger, misophonia or lack of sleep. Let’s see how far I go with this.