Book Review: Aisa Kabhi Nahin Hota by Umera Ahmed

Introduction

“Aisa Kabhi Nahin Hota” is a romantic comedy, something that we don’t expect from Umera. Self-admittedly, this is Umera’s only attempt at writing humour.

Characters

Sana – the one in a million heroine

She has a good set of habits ideal for a girl. She’s relatable on some counts.

She’s lazy

Oh-so-relatable. I am super lazy. If you ask me to stay in bed and do nothing, I can do that. Some people lose their mind when they have nothing to do. Not me.

She likes reading digests

Who doesn’t? I mean, I grew up reading those.

Although I didn’t have to resort to any of Sana’s antiques to get hold of those digests. My elders did that. All I had to do was to sneak around, steal it for a while and read it in a corner where nobody can see me. I was pretty successful at doing that.

Once, in final semester of engineering, the new issue of Huma had arrived just a day before my last paper. I was addicted to reading episodic novels. I know, I am always addicted to something or the other. It takes different forms, but addiction is always there.

So, I was torn between reading the episode and studying for the final paper. Read for the final exam, one would suggest. And, that’s what I tried, too. But, it takes a lot of self control, something I seriously lack, even till date. So, I studied.

The next day, I left for college early, because I didn’t want to be late. The exam started at 2 pm. I went to the classroom and opened the two books side by side – the magazine and the textbook.

My professor, the head of the department, peeked in and suggested, “You should stop revising. Studying just a few minutes before the exam has more adverse effects on memory and stress levels.”

“Okay, sir,” I said. I wasn’t studying anyway.

But, I took it as a sign and continued to devour the episode. Don’t try this. It’s not good for your concentration.

She likes to eat

#metoo

There are other traits that are not-so-common. She fails English subject and has a record of clearing exams in more than three attempts. Not me, I am an engineer. English was a subject in first year of engineering, though. It’s definitely not the same as the heroines – they study English literature, remember.

Aini, Sara, Farzana and Shaziya

Sana’s loyal and honest friends who support her in her cause.

Plot Summary & Review

Sana’s new hobby or interest is to find someone for love marriage. Lazy as she is, she seeks help from her friends even for the matter that affected only her. She does her homework and brings a list of things to try for love marriage. Her loyal friends help her, nonetheless.

From barging in into strangers’ houses to befriending aunties; from attempting to be chosen by her friends as their future sister in law to making blank calls, she tries every trick in the book and meets one epic failure after the other.

The best attempt has most hilarious outcome. Farzana tries to set her up for her cousin Farooq. Sana is asked to clean his room and in her carelessness, she creates more mess than cleaning it. Thereafter, Farzana has to fix things for Farooq. Impressed by Farzana’s efficiency, Farooq proposes her. Burn!

She should have given up, but she doesn’t. Until one day…

This is a short story with a happily ever after. Trust me, that’s a bonus for Umera Ahmed’s writing. She doesn’t believe in a happy ending very often.

Below, I am sharing a few snippets, just for laughs.

اس شخص سے کبھی رومانس نہیں کرنا چاہیے جسے اردو نہ آتی ہو۔

اس کا رشتہ طے ہونے کے بعد اس کے بھائیوں میں خوشی کی لہر دوڑ گئی تھی۔ اب وہ اطمینان اور سکون سے اس سے پٹتے تھے۔

The title is so apt. This really doesn’t happen. But hey, it is hilarious and leaves you with a big smile on your face.

Have you read this book? What do you think of Sana’s character? I will meet you in another review.

Shabana Mukhtar

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