Are We Forgetting to Live Life?

In an attempt to capture the moment forever, are we forgetting to live the moment then and there?

Last Tuesday, I was talking to my mother on the phone. Suddenly, the fire alarm started hooting. It was a fire drill. Thank goodness for the announcement.

I was already out in the lobby. So, I casually walked out and pretended to be a regular employee of other company, lest the security guards force me to go to the safe assembly area. I could also sense that my mother was getting anxious. I mean, how long would she talk over phone? She’s got work to do, right. So do I, but I chose to step out for a walk.

Sensing her boredom, I hung up. But, I was bored to death and literally didn’t want to do anything. What should I do?

I kept walking, to the bus stop near the next tower and sat on one of the benches. It was a relatively quiet afternoon and very few vehicles were plying on the road. I loved the scenery – the green trees, the black tar road and nearly spotless pavements.

Let’s click a few snaps. It would make for a good collage if I decide to post about my workplace. I thought.

I did click a couple of pictures, but even that did not excite me.

I sat there, doing nothing, absolutely nothing. Just stared at the blue cloudless sky, birds freely flying around and the green trees.

It felt so good.

That night, I struggled to fall asleep, as is the norm. I began to retrospect the day, again, as is the norm.

I realized that it had been a long time, probably months since I sat down and did NOTHING. I am a self proclaimed lazy woman, and I truly derive pleasure from doing nothing. However, I have programmed my routine to be busy EVERY.SINGLE.MINUTE.

  • I read and I write reviews.
  • I watch dramas and I write reviews.
  • I blog about things that bother me.
  • I connect with other readers on Goodreads.
  • I write fiction, obsessively. Even, if I publishing nothing.
  • I obsess about the stats – views, visitors, AdSense report, KDP report…

Even if I am away from my phone when I am cooking or cleaning, I am thinking about content – fiction or otherwise. In office, it is just about getting the work done and fighting the irritation.

I have not sat down quietly, doing nothing. So, I enjoyed that Tuesday afternoon.

I should do this more often. I told myself. This weekend, I will do nothing.

Saturday was different and difficult though. I have some stuff going on (I will post about them soon) and had to go around the city meeting people. After I came back and showered, I reminded myself to take it easy and do nothing. Just enjoy.

I failed to do it. I mean, I did try to do nothing but within an hour I felt that I am wasting my time.

Why is that?

Why have I subjected myself with more deadlines than are necessary?

I feel the pressure. It suffocates me, even though I am not active on many social media platforms.

Sometimes, I try to defend it by saying: hey, everyone is doing the same. You’re just too old to handle the stress. At other times, I blame it all on my OCD.

I don’t even know anymore. So, I ask:

Are we forgetting to live life?

Or is it just me going crazy?

Shabana Mukhtar