Dejavu – Work Anniversary

My first post on wordpress was two years back, and then I forgot all about it, and now it is 2017. Phew.

5 years ago, a chilling Monday morning of 23rd January 2012, I had joined this company as a senior software engineer. I experienced mixed feelings. Some nervousness of joining formalities, a lot of butterflies in the stomach, loads of apprehensions about work and colleagues, a little bit of regret of leaving the only employer I had worked for 6.5 years, ah…. By the end of the day I was overwhelmed with emotions and the final thought that came to my mind as I concluded my first day here was that “joining here is not the best of the decisions I have made in my life, and that I don’t fit in here”.

5 years have gone by. I still stand by my conclusion. This really has been a decision I have regretted quite often. Not that the employer or work here is bad. Just the atmosphere here, expectations that people have set – not as  a skilled professional, but as a person. It becomes too much to handle. And, of course, leads to the same feeling – I don’t fit in here.

Having known myself for far longer than this time I have spend here, I am pretty sure that I will be feeling the same way on the next big milestone – 10 year anniversary. Or maybe I will not be alive to feel that in 2022. Hahaa.

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