Note: This series is about all those incidents that make me want to scream “Shut The Beep Up”. Alas, I cannot do that aloud, because I am scared of people around me, people who cannot handle honesty and truth. This is my way of venting out. You could, in turn, ask me to STBU 🙂

Every time the Ayodhya matter resurfaces, I consider posting in this topic, but I never do, because I am shit scared. Why?

I want to keep my content neutral and don’t want my blog to labelled as extremist.

Even though what I feel is true, unbiased and still damn neutral.

After Uri attack in 2016 and Pulwama attack in February 2019, there were talks about it, loads of it.

I don’t mind the talks. Fair enough, you have a political opinion, express it. If you consider yourself a patriot, nothing should stop you from expressing your love to your country.

Hey, I am a patriot, too. I also feel for soldiers, on both borders, on all borders. They risk their lives for us. But, the fact that I don’t speak, does not mean that it does not bother me. I don’t speak, because I am scared, because I am a minority – A Muslim minority.

Yes, people talked, on the streets, in the cafeteria, and in the aisles between the cubicles. Everyone was trying to show-off how much they know – this happened and that happened. Their source of information, undoubtedly, is their Twitter feed or the zillion “news” websites. I have serious doubts about the authenticity of these websites and the content they offer, but that’s a topic for a different post.

I have a very sensitive hearing so I can hear these discussions without being part of it, and let’s face it. People are freakishly loud when they seek attention. *rolling eyes*

So, I listened to these conversations. For the first couple of days, it was all innocent – civilians discussing a military attack. Then, one day, things change.

A man, he is by no means a gentleman, said: “I don’t mind the attack. I am upset that they didn’t do it earlier.”

It was not just his words but his aggressive tone that hushed the entire group. There was a sudden awkwardness and one could feel it around. A general discussion had just turned serious. I think the bhakt who made the comment was not satisfied with the impact, so he repeated his words, thrice.

Now, many people do that. They repeat their words to either get their point across or maybe because they are just stupid and like repeating their words. Generally, people do it with jokes and their repetition is meant to elicit laughter. While I hate hearing the same joke in a loop, I understand their need for approval. 

In this case, it was to elicit a reaction from others. This was serious and a bit aggressive.
The said bhakt didn’t stop at that. For no reason at all, he embroiled the Muslims in it.
“The Muslims should be sent to Pakistan.”

Kyun Bhai?

I have lived here my entire life, so have my parents, and their ancestors from as long as they remember. After spending a century here doesn’t make me a part of this country and you’re unaccepting of me. Why would the neighbouring country (Pakistan, I don’t hesitate to call it by name. It is not like Voldemort. Oh, Harry!) be open to accept a stranger?

And, why would I leave my life just because someone hates Muslims?

Those who call themselves a patriot forget that being a patriot does not need you to be anti-Muslims or anti-minority.

But hey, it does not cost them a dime, right? After all, it only takes words to express their patriotism. If it comes to doing things to make India a better place, they do the opposite.

• like driving on the wrong side of the road
• parking in the middle of the street to buy paan and gutkha
• honking near school or drive at 60 kk/h in a “Speed limit 20 km/h” zone.
• playing music on stereos till wee hours of the morning, EVERY SINGLE DAY without any regards to the neighbours
• talking so loud that can wake up people from sleep and unconscious state
• littering on the road
• spreading corruption and asking for a bribe and taint the image of Indian Police and other government agencies.

To all of them, I want to say “don’t hate people from minorities and shut the beep up.”

But this time, it is the government who puts a question mark on Identity of Muslims and other minorities.

• Why?
• What is CAA?
• What is NCR?
• How does it affect me as a Muslim citizen by birth?

I pride myself in being a Google expert and finding answers hidden in the trillion web pages but I failed miserably. All the websites, genuine, famous “news” website that are supposed to give information have nothing substantial to offer. All they do is list the events and protests that ensued after the bill passed. All they really want is more traffic. Nothing else matters.

Is there anyone who can help me understand?

Is there anybody who can explain whether my fear is unfound?

Why am I suddenly doubting my existence?

Why do I fear when I step out?

Why being a minority is a crime?

I know, I am raising too many questions. Someone somewhere is shouting, “STBU you muslim woman.”

This is exactly what being a minority means.

I rest my case.

Shabana Mukhtar