NOTE: This Friday, I won’t be posting about my week’s retrospective. I haven’t read much; have reviewed some dramas and work is just the same. There is no point in repeating that over and over again.
Change is the only constant.
We know it. The change may be big or small; adaptable or difficult to adapt; expected and out of blue. We have to deal with it, because there is no other way. There’s little we can do about it.
The Adaptable Changes
My workplace is 15 kilometres away from my house. When I had joined in 2012, it used to take less than 30 minutes to reach office. These days, it takes 45 minutes. What’s the reason? Traffic situation has gotten worse, even though some of the roads are reconstructed. The population is on the rise. Of course, that shouldn’t be a surprise. We’re largest population of the world, after all.
These change was gradual. Although I do feel tired and sometimes irritated that commute takes a hour and a half from my precious time, I have learned to deal with it.
It happened gradually, didn’t have a lot of impact on my daily life and I learned to utilize the commute time elsewhere. In short, I don’t mind it much.
The Unadabtable Changes
I hate the ones that are sudden, change a lot of things, are difficult to adjust to and there is no way you can find the silver lining.
In yesterday’s team meeting, the manager announced. “We are changing the seating arrangements for the entire department.”
He showed us the new seating chart. “Within our team, we can try and swap seats, if you want.”
I grabbed the opportunity by both hands. “I would like to swap it with that one.”
“No, but that one is Neha’s,” he said.
I know. I can see that on the diagram. I am asking for a swap, just like you said I could do.
“That’s Neha’s seat. I can’t give it to you,” he repeated.
Then why did you
bloody ask? On an unrelated note, I must tell you, Neha is going on a maternity leave from next week and that seat would be vacant for next 6-8 months. Just saying!
They have moved my desk to a shitty place, right next to the noisiest group on the floor. Noise is the one thing that distrubs me the most. My manager knows it, and yet.
Everyone was pissed off, so I felt better that I’m not the only one bickering. I didn’t feel like working. I couldn’t focus. To be honest, I couldn’t even breathe.
If it was a simple announcement, it would have still upset me, but I would have gotten adjusted to it eventually. It bothered me, because there was a false hope – that I could get a change. This is one big problem with management. If you don’t accept inputs, then why ask? Why do you pretend to be open?
Anyway, that would be a topic of its own for another post.
The movement will be effective from November 4, 2019.
The Unexpected Change
Let me admit. There is a much bigger change happening in my professional-slash-personal life. A colleague of mine, the only person who doesn’t annoy me, is leaving the company to move to US. I am happy for him. He has been trying to get an internal transfer for past 7 years.
But, what does it mean for me? I will not have a go-to person to discuss my technical doubts. I don’t talk to just anybody for my problems. He will still be just an email away, I hope, but
It is a gradual change. I have known about his transfer since June, 2019. I have had almost 5 months to absorb the upcoming change. But, I find it just as hard to adjust to.
He’s travelling next week and would be joining on November 4, 2019.
It reminds me of a couplet in Urdu
Azal Se Hi Chaman Rang-e-Mohabbat, Yahi NairangiyaN Dikhla Raha Hai
Kali Koi Jahan Par Khil Rahi Hai, Waheen Ek Phool Bhi Murjha Raha Hai
It toughtly translates to “Since the beginning, the universe behaves the same way that a flower dies and a new one blossoms.”
In short, it means that end of an era is a beginning of a new one.
Incidentally, I first met him on November 4. Isn’t that strange?
I told you, I have the strangest memory in terms of dates. I also have weird habit of creating links in seemingly unrelated events, and findings patterns in the insignificant routinely activities. 4th November brings in two drastic changes in my life, and I would surely remember that for ages. As will you, thinking why is this girl so weird.
The Much-Awaited Change
Something else changed yesterday. We all arrived late from work, are simple food and I went to bed early (I always try, even though I can’t sleep). I started drafting one drama review, felt tired.
I fell asleep, only to get up after an hour. I was exasperated. Damn! It happens every night. Now I wouldn’t be able to sleep the whole night due to anxiety. An hour later, I threw away the headphones, my eyes shut in its own and I wake up the next morning.
I slept almost six hours yesterday. almost six hours of almost interrupted sleep. Do you know what means? I am rested, relaxed, and happy. I realized, yet again, that I am in a position of privilege. I cannot buy happiness but I don’t have to struggle for food every day.
Change happens for various reasons.
- It brings you out of your comfort zone. My friend moving to US and my desk getting shifted are changes that bring me out of my tiny cocoon.
- It breaks the monotony.
- Just so we wouldn’t feel the same way all the time.
Whatever are the reasons, I should just accept the change the way it is.
Sometimes, in the wind of change, we find our true direction.
I am thankful to Allah for all the blessings and I pray that it continues for me, for you and for everyone else. Stay blessed and remember in your prayers.